ABDL Boys Are All Ages

How “little” are you? Are you a baby who likes to be put in thick diapers, a sleeper, and given a bottle? Or are you a toddler who likes to run around in shortfalls, play with Lego and get more water on the floor than in the bath?

Now: what’s your “big” age? Is there a connection between these two things? Are you only allowed to be a baby when you’re in your 20s?

Does being ‘little’ change as you get older? Do you eventually ‘grow up’?

Do you feel like you’ll get older and your ‘little feelings’ will go away? Are you worried you won’t look cute enough, that no one will want to cuddle you, that you’ll pass some mysterious expiration date?

There Are No Limits to Being Little

This is a serious topic. And it’s connected to all kinds of things that have nothing to do with being a baby or little boy.

Society imposes certain notions of beauty. Technology amplifies the ‘spaces’ we find ourselves in. And we all carry with us fears and our own personal histories: fears of getting older, our own histories of being children and whether we received the care and attention that every chid deserves.

When you hear someone say “age is a state of mind” it’s really easy to dismiss them.

If it’s true, then why does it seem like everyone on Twitter (or Snap, or IG, or wherever) is a cute twink in thick padding?

It’s an odd attitude to hear from an ABDL: here are people who feel the most secure, who find the greatest happiness in being any age other than the age that they really are. They feel like toddlers trapped in a bigger body.

ABDL onesie hidden
Sometimes a little ‘hidden’, but their little side still peeks out! Topher is a member of the ABDL Daddy Crinkle Club!

An adult baby or little boy has a magical power: the ability to enter a space where they can express joy, adventure, affection, and dependence. They defy the constraints of the numbers related to physical age. They can be creative and joyful, needy and giving, silly and cuddly.

And yet they somehow worry that they’ll turn a corner and all of those ‘little feelings’ will disappear.

Social Media is Not Society

This topic came up in the ABDLDaddy Discord chat. And then I saw this Tweet (and thread):

Older ABDL boy

And it made me sad to think that someone struggled to feel they still have a place in the ABDL community.

Everyone deals, at some point, with fears and anxieties related to getting older. But these issues aren’t helped by viewing the ABDL community through the sole prism of Twitter or IG.

The truth is that if you attend an ABDL meet-up or event you’ll find little ones on both age spectrums: from babies to little boys, and from 20 to 60 in “real” years.

Social media creates a self-reinforcing bubble of images: a competition to be the most cute, to post photos of the squishiest diaper, the most adorable onesie.

Have you ever resisted posting a photo? Maybe you’re 20 but you didn’t post because you thought a photo was unflattering, it wasn’t “cute enough”.

This self-editing can lead to an illusion: that the *real* ABDL community is always cute, always adorable, always super cuddly (and super squishy!)

ABDL hooded onesie
There’s no limit to being adorable. Photo courtesy of BabyB from the ABDLDaddy Crinkle Club!

Where Did All The “Older” ABDL’s Go?

When I was younger I used to love going out to clubs. I’d dance all night! But I used to wonder how horrible it must be to be older: clearly you life ends when you’re 30, otherwise there would be more older people out in the clubs dancing the night away.

And I think there’s a parallel to becoming an older ABDL: the joy and connection you get on social media (the dopamine rush of all those likes!) fades, and you get more out of, you know, meeting people.

I was talking to a Daddy from Atlanta recently. He’s the real deal and has high chairs and a nursery. And he’s part of a large circle of friends and visitors, most of whom are in their 40s (and older).

For him, social media doesn’t allow for real chat and communication. The thrill of the short-term dopamine hit of likes and scrolling through endless photos of squishy diapers doesn’t do it anymore. He’d prefer to grab a group of friends and organize a dinner: one where everyone is thickly padded!

The Healing Power of Being A Little One

But there’s something else at play here. And I say this based on my own experiences with little ones.

Sometimes, being ‘little’ can be a way to resolve issues related to anxiety, connection or acceptance. And sometimes little ones are able to find some small bit of healing through their ABDL experiences.

After, their needs change: they will always have a ‘little side’….and yet they become more comfortable with it. More creative. They don’t NEED to get approval in the same ways as they did before. They become comfortable with who they are.

I have always thought that little ones provide a gift to the world. They remind us that innocence, dependence and creativity are powerful things. They remind me that the “rules” of society (that we always need to be responsible, that we need to be ‘tough’, that we’re not allowed to cry) are choices.

And so, in my eyes, older ABDLs are like monk warriors: pathfinders, explorers, and courageous kiddos who refuse to grow up.

7 Replies to “ABDL Boys Are All Ages”

  1. That last part real resonated with me. Thank you so much for writing these and spreading positivity and understanding

  2. I am a 65 y.o. AB in NC. Been a baby for almost my whole life. And I am not going to grow up. I have a nursery in my apartment with a baby bed, baby clothes, diapers, toys, and lots of stuffed buddies. Would like a daddy. I am a lot younger looking than my age. I still love baby food and a nice bottle of toddler formula.

  3. Hi Mr Josh I joined your discord group but am having trouble logging in, I have dreamed/fantasied of being a little before my teens, having that stronger dominant man/Daddy to look after me in the big bad world, keeping me diapered in plastic pants. Regressing me to his son and letting me know he is my Daddy. Making all my decisions and being totally in control of me to take me by the hand and teach me. I am resigned that I will never know the little life and I have tried over the years but to no avail. I have enjoyed your posts over the years and hope that others will be braver to follow their heart and make their dreams come true. In short it is hard being a full-time adult, when you have a little side that just wants a Daddy to look after him. Thank you, Daddy Josh, for being a silver cloud.

  4. Well I can relate to so much of what you said above about growing older Its tough in the “LGBtxyz community anyway which is so youth based but throw in ab/dl age play & its even more complicated 4 sure
    I wish I could say its not really an issue 4 me anymore but I truly can’t say its not hard at times finding others to connect w/ who wont judge us based on a # only. Unfortunately there r many who will but hopefully I can still find some who wont.
    .A lot of guys especially think once you hit a certain age range its just yr time to somehow magically grow up now & transition into a big bro or even a Daddy somehow. There r still some diaper guys who do choose to do that while even wearing diapers still themselves . Which works if yr good w/ that too.
    One of the biggest issues I have found in my many vast yrs of experience in this community as well as the bd/sm community is that finding guys into diapers & just wanting to b a Dom Daddy who likes other guys in diapers is a rare thing to find anyway. I introduced many Dom Daddies into it Some were open but most were not & I find it hasn’t really changed much although ynger generations do seam to b more open to try stuff before deciding if they really do or don’t like something while as some of any age still hear diaper think wet or messy & think “O Grose” & that’s it it 4 them so its a complicated fetish lifestyle anyway between all the vast options of play available only really controlled by our own imaginations anyway.
    Thanks for giving us a place to share our feelings & experiences

  5. Hits harder than a hairbrush on a bare bum , am knocking on the door of 50 and find myself having these thoughts often , am on the fence of if I’ll carry on with my little side much longer

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