I get so many amazing questions on our Discord server. It’s like opening up a new package of diapers, or getting a new onesie or romper!
Some of the questions deserve a full post of their own in response. Some are light-hearted and fun, and some are more serious. And as always, my responses are my own: other daddies might have different opinions or approaches.
Which is one of the things that makes ABDL relationships and dynamics so amazing: everyone can establish their own boundaries and ‘rules’.
Question: Daddy… how do I figure out my little age? I need a daddy to help me figure it out I guess.
When I get to know a little one, I rarely ask them about “little stuff” right away. I want to know the whole person: their interests, what frustrates them at work or school, what they do for fun (video games? camping? collecting rocks?). There is still A in Adult Baby and I feel like you need to connect on that level too.
But after some trust and connection has been established, I generally ask a few questions:
- Crib or racing car bed?
- High chair, booster seat, or ‘normal’ chair?
- Glass, sippy cup or bottle?
The answers give some idea whether a little one is more babyish, toddler-like or perhaps a little boy with a wetting problem.
But these are just indications of what his “usual” little space is like. When he zones out in diapers, does he feel mischievous or cuddly, playful or soft?
The truth is that little age is just a number. Some days you might feel particularly babyish and need lots of cuddles, footed sleepers, bottle time and a playpen. And on other days you might need a big pile of Lego and a blanket fort.
Don’t feel a need to be tied to a particular age. Follow your feelings. A Daddy’s job isn’t to force you into a particular age role, but to make it safe for you to explore all of them.
Daddy, in a daddy/AB relationship, is it appropriate for the AB to participate to the financial burden of the ABDL costs?
So, this is a more serious question. And I could probably write a long, long post on the topic.
In some ways it’s a painful topic for me. It is not something I always manage very well as a Daddy. I have a lot of regrets because of times in my life when I’ve had a lack of self-awareness on this topic, and difficulty expressing my own needs as a Daddy.
As many know, money is a super tricky topic for any relationship. And so as a larger issue, this should definitely be tackled with your “adult” hat on!
But let me focus on the more immediate dynamic. And I’ll just make a few quick observations:
- First, it’s amazing to me how many people hit me up on social media and state, almost within the first minutes of chatting, that they need diapers and need a Daddy to buy them. Are there Daddies out there who say yes to this? It’s so disappointing to me when little ones seem to perceive the word “Daddy” as equivalent to “Diaper Sugar Daddy” as if we’re just waiting to dispense free diapers.
- Second, and I say this from experience: there needs to be a balance of giving. Now, you might not have money! But there are other ways to give something back to your Daddy. This sense of balance is so important.
- If you DO earn enough to help buy your own diapers or ABDL clothes and supplies, you should! And if a Daddy insists on buying everything for you, I would actually take this as a warning sign. Be careful: he might be asserting a form of control you’re not comfortable with. This can be one of the hardest boundaries to negotiate, but be clear that it’s a boundary!
A Daddy wants to make his baby happy. But reciprocity is super important or it can lead to resentments or a lack of balance.
Boundaries around control are important. You can go “all in” if you choose! But make sure it’s your choice.
Daddy — why don’t I grow up like the other kids?
Because you’re a gift. You’re a shining star, a one-of-a-kind magical boy! Some boys never grow up and they make the world a better place.