Safety and Structure for the Adult Baby or Little Boy: Thoughts from Baby Elliot

You put your little one in shortalls and do up the shoulder straps, tugging a bit to make sure they’re secure.

You help to lift him up into his high chair, lower the tray, and do up the strap so that he doesn’t slip out, noticing that it presses against his diaper.

You put your little guy into his playpen while you make dinner, glancing back to see him having a silent conversation with his collection of plushies.

They’re small little moments in the life of being a daddy to an adult baby or little boy.

And yet they’re also small gestures that help to make him feel safe and secure.

Whether doing up the snaps on your little guy’s onesie, or drawing up the bars of his crib for the night, they help to give him a safe space to be the baby or little boy that he really is inside.

Little Space and Security for the ABDL

Baby Elliot writes thoughtful pieces on My Ickle Little World, his Tumblr blog. He explores the meanings of being Little, why he finds diapers important, and gives suggestions to daddies and caregivers (both through his own posts and those he reblogs).

He recently wrote about how his little space is usually quite separate from his more “adult” side.

But in this case, he also mused that there might be similarities between “little” and “big” space:

“However this morning I was musing to myself that there’s a certain amount of what I call soft bondage, or soft restriction in little or ABDL play. For example those of us that wear and use Nappies/daipers, there’s something about how your encased in padding, the restriction is evident, you can’t use the bathroom, and more than likely your restricted from privacy. Everything you do is on show. Let’s not forget if you wear them thick, how they push your legs apart every so slightly, forcing you to waddle, modifying your movement, or restricting your activities.“

Daddies and Doms: The Difference

But he finds that there IS a difference:

“When I think of this, I think about this is all done in the highest of care, and concern for the well-being of the little. It’s not about bondage but safety, but enable the little/baby to experience a sense of helplessness and encourage the care giver to take charge and guide the experience“

And I think Baby Elliot hits upon an important distinction for the daddy or caregiver to the ABDL compared to other more dominant forms of connection.

And it’s driven, I think, by taking actions and providing experiences based on creating a shared feeling of safety.

A Daddy (as compared to a ‘Dom’) needs to understand that the goal isn’t to make someone helpless, but instead to facilitate being able to express their ‘little’ selves, which will naturally include their feelings of helplessness and need to come out naturally.

Think of ‘little space’ as an island inside of a sea of habits and feelings related to his ‘big’ life. A Daddy wants to make that island larger. To help his little guy expand his feelings of being able to express the baby, toddler or little boy that’s inside

And perhaps counter-intuitively, this can involve helping to make sure that there are clear boundaries within which it’s safe to be little.

Little Moments for Your Baby Boy

In a high chair, your little guy knows he isn’t going anywhere until he eats his peas! (Good luck with that!) And the strap of the high chair pressed against his soggy diaper is a subtle physical reminder of the place he’s in. Same with the securely-tied bib!

When he’s in his playpen, there might be a more adult world around him, but he has a few square meters in which he’s only able to be in a more little world. The walls around him remind him that he can feel safe, secure, and that he doesn’t have a choice when it comes to trying to run to the potty! (Not that he’d want to!)

When you tug on the locking plastic pants at night, and then slip him into his footed sleeper, he’ll know he’s snug as a bug! And that even when he’s sleeping he’s securely diapered, and securely daddy’s little boy.

You don’t need to tie your little guy up to make it clear that he’s on his ‘little island’. (Although hey, some little ones might need the help!)

You just need to be aware of all of those small gestures, the snaps, the baby harnesses or cribs, the lock on the high chair or the zipper on the back of his sleeper. All of them help to create a sense of safety.

As Baby Elliot says:

“And there’s always rules, structure, routines that shape the day, again an element of soft restriction”

And all of them can help both daddy and his little boy to create larger and larger islands in the land of little.