Like many communities, ABDL has its own definitions, its own language. But for those who are new to exploring their ‘little side’, some of it can be a bit overwhelming.
I was recently chatting with someone who is new to exploring ABDL. They were more familiar with terminology from BDSM. They knew what a ‘Master’ was, but wanted to understand if a Master acts the same way as a Daddy. What are the differences? And what’s a DD?
Now, I’m going to sound very much like a Daddy when I say: “things were simpler back in the day!”
For example, I started this blog at a time when there was very little information available online. Almost no one posted their photos on publicly-available sites (like Tumblr or IG), and so I often had to create my own!
And honestly, there was ABDL and that’s pretty much it. Terms like DDLB (Daddy Dom/Little Boy) or Agres (age regression) came later. Or, maybe they were around, but not widely used.
What’s The Real Question?
But it struck me when we were chatting that what he was really asking for was “how do I find a Daddy who’s right for me?”.
He wanted to know the difference between a ‘Daddy Dom’ and a ‘Daddy’. He wanted to know how much ‘age play’ was critical to liking and wanting diapers to be part of his interactions with a Daddy.
And I get where he was coming from: the definitions are often short-hand for something else. For example, an LB can often denote a state of mind: less ‘babyish’ and more boyish, with diapers not always playing a role in their age regression.
So if you’re talking to someone, these definitions will sometimes act as ‘pointers’ to what they’re looking for, what their needs are, and what they expect in return.
What Kind of ABDL Are You?
Now, I’m not an expert in all the terms that people use.
You can often use them as starting points to discover someone’s interests. But that doesn’t mean you have a shared understanding of how to define some of the words and acronyms.
My own impressions are just general feelings. The ‘DDLB’ community often seems to trend younger, and involve less babyish things. But what do I know? 🙂
But the discussion brings me back to a post I did 10 years ago(!): What Kind of Adult Baby Are You? (And you can still take the quiz!)
In it, I proposed a sort of grid as a short-hand way to understand different ABDL experiences:
It proposed that there are two ‘major domains’ that often define how ABDLs feel about being ‘little’:
- How much care vs control they enjoy
- How much they like to regress vs seeing diapers as primarily a fetish
Being a Daddy: Definitions
So now I’m wondering, years later, whether we can overlay different types of ‘Daddies’ onto this model?
For example, if someone wants to take care of and help regress an ABDL ‘boy’, are they a “Daddy”? If they enjoy the aspects of age regression but also like to exert more authority, are they a Daddy Dom?
For someone who is looking for a ‘diaper slave’ – well, I’ll leave that for you to define. But it feels to me like that’s more of a Master than a Daddy. (Which leaves open the question of how to define a caring Daddy where age regression plays less of a role).
It’s About Boundaries and Communication
Regardless of the terms you hear or the ‘boxes’ people put themselves in, one of the joys of the ABDL community is how fluid it can be. People change, from year to year or even hour to hour.
One minute your little one they might enjoy pacifiers and bottles, and the next they want to go out with their ‘big boy’ friends while knowing they’ll return home to find Daddy waiting with a clean diaper.
The key is communication: understanding and setting boundaries, having ‘adult’ conversations about expectations, and being open to a range of experiences.
There’s no right or wrong way to define ourselves in the ABDL or fetish communities. The joy comes from being able to find safe ways to express ourselves and to learn from the experience.
Having said that – I want to hear from you! If you absolutely had to define yourself, what term would you use? Are there different ‘types’ of Daddies and how do you define them? Don’t hesitate to comment below.