In the first three parts of our story, a new lodger finds himself embarrassed by a wet bed and the need for nappies – but the diapers open up a new level of trust and connection between Andy and Tim.
In our last chapter, Tim and Andy discovered the special connection of ‘care’ – and wearing diapers brought a special bond between the two.
In this chapter some confused feelings…and some revelations.
A special thanks to Anthony for the amazing story.
Here, we bring you to the conclusion of Part Five. To read the previous chapters, click here.
The temperature seemed to drop by the early hours of the morning. I stirred in my sleep and found Tim at my side. Feeling desperately cold I inched over to my boy and gently grabbed his underarms and half picked-up and half dragged him so he was lying over me again.
Tim let out a slight whine as I him woke up. When he discovered where he was he placed his right hand over my chest’s right side and left it there. “That’s my boy,” I said as I fell back to sleep.
I woke Tim up as he need to be at work that morning. He rolled over at stared at the ceiling before finally getting out of bed. I offered to make him some breakfast while he got ready. He thanked me and I went to the kitchen as I heard Tim turn on the shower.
I was in the middle of frying some bacon when Tim walked into the kitchen in nothing but a light blue towel.
“Andy?” he asked. I turned around to face him.
“Could you help me get dressed please?”
“Get you dressed?” I repeated.
“Yeah, help me get dressed… for work.”
I turned the hob off and moved the pan onto a cold set of rings. I agreed to help my boy – why not? It can’t be weirder than putting a nappy on him, right?
We walked into Tim’s room, and Tim slipped on some underwear and removed his towel. I opened his closet and took out a pair of trousers hanging up there and gestured him to come to me. Clad only in cute cartoon briefs he stepped into the trousers I was holding out for him. I took out a white long-sleeved collared shirts and fed my boy’s arms through the sleeves, and I buttoned it up for him. I stuck the shirt in his trousers and fastened them up. I fed Tim’s belt through the hoops before fastening in the buckle. I found him some socks and handed them to him, he sat on the bed and put them on.
“Right, I’m taking this opportunity to sort something out that’s been bothering me since you moved in.”
Tim shot a nervous look at me. I chuckled slightly and led him by the hand into my bedroom. I stood him front on the mirror and went into my cupboard and pulled out one of my best ties. I tucked up my boy’s collar and began to fasten it around his neck.
“I don’t have to wear a tie to work,” he said looking at my reflection.
“Well you should and if you want me to help get dressed, you will. If you worked for me and came to the office without a tie I’d send you home to get one.” I finished and stood back to admire how smart he looked. “There you go; you just about pass for respectable,” I said.
“Thanks, Andy.” He gave me a hug and we stood in each other’s arms.
“Go and get some breakfast.” I said and released my boy.
We both finished getting ready, and I offered to give Tim a lift to work. We made our way through morning traffic listening to the news on the radio and making some small talk. After about fifteen minutes we made our way to the Tim’s office building. I pulled over to the curb and applied the handbrake.
“Be good and have a nice day,” I said.
“I’ll try,” he smiled back at me. He started to look up and down the street and into the building. There wasn’t anyone nearby. He then leaned over and gave me a kiss on the lips. “Bye,” he said and got out of the car and walked into work.
That night Tim arrived home and he looked quite sad.
“I’ve got some bad news.” he said.
“Oh no, what’s happened?” I asked.
“I had a chat with my boss today, and he said that after my placement is over they want to keep me on full-time. So unfortunately it looks like you’re going to have to put up with me for a good while yet.” He broke out a smile. I grinned from ear to ear.
“Bad news? That’s wonderful news,” I said happily. “This is a cause for a celebration.” I went over to a cupboard and got a bottle of champagne that I had received as a birthday gift for my forty-fifth. I started to open the bottle.
“You don’t have to do that!”
“This is the best news I’ve heard in a long-time.” I popped it open and poured each of us a glass. I toasted to Tim. After we had a glass I walked over to him and placed my arms around him. “I’m so happy you’re staying,” I said.
“Me too,” Tim replied.
Sometime after New Year, I arrive home feeling tired and burnt-out. I though the best way to make myself feel better was to run a bath that evening. I hadn’t been in more than five minutes when I heard a knock at the bathroom door.
“Yes?” I asked.
“Andy, is it OK if I come in?” Tim asked from the other side of the door.
“What? No! I’m having bath!” I said.
“Please! I really need to pee,” he said.
“Can a man not get five minutes peace and quite?”
“I’ll be dead quick. I promise. Please?” he pleaded.
“Urgh! Hurry up then!” I said.
Tim opened the door and stood by the toilet and began to do his business. When he was done he turned around and saw me sitting up in the bath covering my manhood. Rather than wash his hands in the sink he did so in my bath water. This was the first time that he had seen me naked. He stood there eyeing me up and down.
“Can I help you?” I said. Tim came out of his reverie.
“Hmm, no… sorry… sorry…” he said, still looking at me sitting in the bath.
“Do you want to come in or something?”
“Eh?” he asked.
“Look, either come in the bath or leave me be.”
He said nothing; I could tell he was starting to think about it.
“Right, get in then!” I said sounding exasperated.
Tim grinned and began to undress. He stepped into the hot water and he sat between my legs. I put my arms around him, and he fell back into me. The pair of us just lay there.
“Pass that wash cloth, son,” I said, finally breaking the comfortable silence. He leaned forward to pick it up and I began to lather it up and wash him.
I knew then, that this is what I wanted. As Tim had been living with me longer he became more and more willing to let me look after him. It started with me simply cooking him meals and now here I was giving him a bath before putting him in a nappy and tucking him into bed.
I wasn’t Tim’s Landlord, nor was I his friend any more. I was his caregiver. I looked after him as I would my own child. He is sitting in the bath and I’m washing his hair. How does something like this start? Tim seems more than happy to be like my child, and I was happy to be like a father to him. Everyone seems to think we are father and son; then why couldn’t we be?
After we were both bathed and clean I drained the water and stepped out of the bath. I dried myself off and got another towel for Tim.
“Let’s get you into a nice thick nappy and into your pyjamas. I think you could do with an early night,” I said as I was drying him from head to toe.
“Only if I sleep in your bed.”
“OK,” I agreed.
I took him by the hand and led him into my room and laid him on the bed. I moved over to him to begin to put him in a nappy. Tim was just happy to lie there as I started to sprinkle powder on him.
“Was that a nice bath?” I asked. He looked at me and nodded. “Do you want a bath every night? You want a nice hot bath before getting ready for bed?” I asked, almost playfully.
Tim covered his face in his hands.
“What’s the matter?”
“You make me feel like such a baby sometimes,” he said sounding embarrassed.
“Because you are a baby; you’re my baby. You remember Michael and Adam from the pub? Do you think their daddies bathe them, put them in nappies and get them ready for bed? No, because they’re not babies, but you’re my special little boy Tim, and you mean the world to me.”
“But I’m NOT a baby!” he insisted.
“You’re my baby,” I repeated and smiled. “My little trooper,” I said and rubbed his tummy. I taped up the nappy and checked to make sure it was on securely and I got a t-shirt for him.
I took off the damp towel from my waist and dressed in some underwear. I decided to join Tim’s early night. I made sure that the house was locked up, I turned off the lights and went back to my room and climbed into bed.
I pulled the covers over me and turned to look at my boy. He was facing away from me. I inched over to him so I could place an arm over him. As I did so I felt him shirk and shake my arm away from him.
“Tim, are you okay?” I asked him
“Night, Andy,” was all he said.
That night I found it difficult to sleep. I felt riddled with guilt. Thinking about what I said to Tim before he went to sleep about him being ‘my baby’. I felt like I had once again misread the situation. What right did I have to say something like that to someone? “You’re my baby,” I kept saying in my head. Why can’t you think before you speak? I asked myself.
“Can I apologise for what I said last night?” I asked Tim at breakfast the next morning, “I shouldn’t have said that all the baby stuff. If it made you uncomfortable then I’m sorry.
“Nah it’s OK,” he sounded a bit distant. “You weren’t being literal about it. Were you?”
“No, of course I wasn’t” I said. Then I released that I actually was, and I felt my stomach turn.
“I need to get ready,” Tim said standing up to put his bowl in the sink.
“OK, I’ll be up in a minute.”
“I’ll do it myself, but thanks anyway,” Tim said and walked out.
I sat in the kitchen by myself and thought maybe I had once again over-stepped the mark. I finished my breakfast and went up stairs to get ready for work.
I was in my bedroom tying my shoes when I glanced at my alarm clock and checked the time.
“Tim, you’re going to be late,” I shouted from my room. I heard the clunk of a car door and looked out of the window and saw Tim sitting in his car and driving off. Tim always tells me he’s leaving and gives me a cuddle before he sets off. I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands.
My head was in bits. I was distracted. I like looking after Tim, but I had gone a step too far. You want to treat a grown man like a baby? Is that what you want? What is wrong with you? I asked myself. Not only is it not normal: it’s unnatural! my conscience kept saying to me. I started to think what I said to him sounded creepy and perverse, and in general it just made me feel wrong. I got wound up and was angry at myself. I was generally being unpleasant and everything around me was white noise humming in the background.
“You’re not on your game today, Andy,” Jack, one of my partners said.
“Uh? No, got a lot on my mind, I think,” I replied.
“Wanna share?” he asked, and I knew that was part of the problem. No, I couldn’t share. Normal people don’t conduct themselves like this do they? How would I explain something like this to someone? Where would I start? The bit about him wearing nappies or the bit about me dressing him in them? I wasn’t in the mood for working. All I wanted to do was think.
“You know what: I’m done for the day, Jack.” I said and began packing up to leave.
“What? It’s not even twelve. You’re seeing Mr. Olister at two-thirty. What I am supposed to say to him, then?” he asked me as I walked out the door.
“Tell him to go and fuck himself. He’s a hypochondriac!”
“Fucking hell, mate?” he said following me down the stairs. “Andy! Andrew, I’m talking to you!” he shouted at me, but I didn’t turn around “Fine! Come back tomorrow and stop being a dickhead!”
“Will do!” I shouted back and left the building.
I arrived home and started pacing around thinking about Tim and me. I tried my damn hardest to justify everything that had happened since Tim had moved in, but I found myself blaming everyone but myself. No, YOU showed him around you home, YOU let him live here and YOU let him get inside your head, I thought. Tim never asked you treat him the way you do. Did you ever once stop and ask Tim what he wanted? I asked myself, and I realised that I hadn’t. I never once stopped to say to him, “Do you want this? Are you sure that you’re comfortable with me looking after you?”
I felt as though I had pushed Tim away somehow, and I hated myself for it. I was so wrapped in my own feelings, my own selfish desire to father a boy who, at the end of it all, was no relation to me what-so-ever. I didn’t want Tim to leave, and I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else living with me.
I decided that it would be best if thing went back to how they were when Tim just moved in. No more baths, no more helping him get dressed and no more nappy changes. That way we’d both know where we stood.
“What’s for dinner?” Tim asked that evening shortly after he came in from work.
“I don’t know!” I said. “Order some take-out. You know how to use the phone.”
“What’s the matter with you?” Tim asked me. He could tell that someone with wrong.
“I’m got some stuff to do,” I told him. I felt as though I couldn’t even look at him. I walked out the room.
I sat in my office staring at the wall, confused. I hadn’t felt like this since I was 13; staring at a schoolmate as he undressed in the changing room and feeling my dick stiffen.
I glanced at my computer monitor and the blank word document in front of me. Staring at the blinking text prompter.
“You look busy,” I heard Tim say. I nearly died of shock. I didn’t hear him walk in.
“Hey kiddo, what’s up?” I said weakly and swivelled my chair towards the door.
“I thought you were going to give me a bath,” he said. I stared at him quizzically before I rubbed my face and held it there in my hands and sighed.
“No, Tim, I’m not.”
“Why?” he asked with disgusted surprise.
I pointed towards a two-seater at the other end of the small room. Tim sat down, and I turned my office chair to face him. “What are we doing, Tim? This can’t be right. You’re not a baby. You’re a grown man. I’ll… no, I won’t be helping you get ready any more. You’re old enough to look after yourself. I shouldn’t have started doing things for you in the first place. I’m sorry I started mollycoddling you. It was wrong of me.”
I saw Tim’s nose flare up. “No. No, you don’t get to do that to someone,” he said.
“Andy, things happened so slowly that I don’t think either of us noticed. I still mean what I said about you making me feel safe, and when you said I was a baby… your baby…” He looked down at the floor, trying to find the right words. “I’ve been thinking about that all day, and it was something I never expected you to say. It freaked me out, but the more I think about it the more it makes me feel happy because I know that you care what happens to me. I know you must think I’m a big crybaby and stuff… I can’t even keep my bed dry for Christ’s sake… I need you to help me. Since I’ve moved in you’ve done so much for me, made me feel like… a son you probably never wanted. I don’t mind you changing my nappies – you’ve done it enough times and well, I thought it was pretty cool that you gave me a bath actually,” he said and smiled slightly and then stopped, his face turned serious. “You remember the first time I wet the bed?” he asked and I nodded. “Back home, my dad would have killed me, but you wrapped your arms around me and said everything was going to be all right.” He looked into my eyes. “I then knew that I found a safe place. I found a place where I could be me… whoever he is, and most of all I found a person who loves me no matter what. You’re the kindest, most gentle… sweetest man I’ve ever met. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I never want to leave you. I want to be your baby, Andy, I’ll be more than happy to… now, forever and always.”
I sat with tears streaming down my face. I pulled him over for a tight embrace. “Oh, Tim…” was all I could manage to say.
“I’ve been called worse things, right?” he said and laughed slightly. We hugged each other tightly. We sat silently for a few minutes, but to me it felt like hours – I felt a lifetime of happiness wrapped around me. “I’m so glad I found you,” he said.
I kissed his cheek and rubbed his back.
“I love you so much.” I sat holding and cradling him. I felt Tim begin to slowly prod my shoulder. I pulled apart from him and wiped my face dry. Tim was looking at me with a sly, almost idiotic grin.
“I want some Plum Duck,” he simpered. He kissed my cheek. “Please,” he added. I laughed and moved away from the seat to the telephone on my desk to order some food.
“Forty-five minutes to an hour,” I told Tim when I put the phone down. “That’s just enough time for a bath and a nappy change, me thinks.” Tim smiled.
I picked up my boy and took him to the bathroom and ran him a bath and bathed him. When that was done I got him changed into a thick nappy and some nightwear. The food arrived and we sat together and ate. I spend a good deal of my time glancing up at Tim and was content to watch him tucking in to his supper. Tim would occasionally glanced back at me before returning his attention to his plate.
I felt the paternal and loving instinct return and fill me. I felt it grow and flourish in every corner of my body. I felt myself rise from my chair and walked over to the boy opposite me. I felt myself embrace him tenderly, and I felt my lips kiss the top of his head. If only you know, if only you could appreciate how happy, how very, very blessed you make me feel, I thought.
“I love you so, so much baby.” I heard myself say.