In the first three parts of our story, a new lodger finds himself embarrassed by a wet bed and the need for nappies – but the diapers open up a new level of trust and connection between Andy and Tim. But will an unexpected Christmas together be awkward, or have they maybe found their ‘chosen family’?
A special thanks to Anthony for the amazing story. Here, we bring you to the conclusion of Part Four. To read the previous chapters, click here.
It was Christmas Eve. Tim came in from work to find I’d already cooked him a meal, and it was waiting for him in the oven. He thanked me and sat down to eat it. As he did so I was walking around the house getting ready to go out.
“Going somewhere?” he asked.
“Some of my friends and I always meet at this pub as chance to catch-up before the New Year. You should come.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said. “It might feel awkward.”
“You’re more than welcome.”
“Nah, it’s OK,” he declined again. Tim didn’t have any other plans and I didn’t want him spending Christmas Eve by himself.
“Tell you what: I’ll buy all your drinks if you do.”
“OK, talk about twisting my arm!” he smiled. He finished his meal, and he quickly washed and got changed into a smart shirt and a dark pair of jeans. I booked a taxi, and when it arrived we made our way to the pub.
“So, who are we meeting here tonight?” he asked as we carefully walked down the icy road.
“Well there’s Darren who you’ve already met, and Ross should be here too. You’ll recognise Ross as he’s the campest man you’re ever likely to meet. Ian is the one who loves the sound of his own voice; please don’t ask him about the novel he’s writing you’ll never hear…”
“…You haven’t told them have you?”
“About what?” I asked.
“Of course not. Why would I do such a thing?”
We walked into the pub and the place was filled to capacity with people talking and drinking, Christmas decorations everywhere and Stop The Cavalry hummed in the background. I scanned for my friends but couldn’t see them.
“Hey, Mr. Northcross!” I heard someone shout.
I turned around and saw two young men, Adam and Michael, both around the same age as Tim. They worked as cleric staff at my office.
“Oh hello, boys, what you doing here?”
“We’ve come for a few drinks before we head to the clubs,” Michael said. He looked at Tim quizzically. “All right Mate?” he asked.
“All right,” Tim smiled back.
“Oh Tim, this is Michael and Adam, they work at my office in admin,” I said.
“You erm… are you… Mr. Northcross’s… son?” Adam asked suspiciously.
“No. I’m his lodger.”
“Oh?” Michael replied.
“I’m staying over Christmas because my work wouldn’t give me this week off, well except tomorrow. So there was no point going back home for like half a day,” he replied.
“You live a long way I take it?” Adam asked.
“How far do you think Scotland is from here, you idiot?” Michael said to him, having picked up on Tim’s accent.
“Well I feel sorry for you mate, that you can’t go home. That’s well gay,” Adam said to Tim.
“Yeah, well Andy’s giving me a load of free booze tonight, it’s softened the blow.”
“Mr. Northcross is being generous with his money? There is a first time for everything!” Michael said.
“Well, I find that resentful. Stay there the pair of you,” I said. I prodded Tim on the shoulder. He looked at me. “Come and help me at the bar.”
Tim followed and we got served pretty quickly. I ordered four pints and paid the bartender. I grabbed two and asked Tim to get the others. We walked back over to where Michael and Adam where standing.
“Here you go lads, have a Merry Christmas,” I said handing over the two pint glasses.
“Thanks, Mr. Northcross,” the pair said.
“Have a nice night lads,” I said and smiled. We said bye, and the boys thanked me again. Tim and I made out way into the pub’s other room.
“CRISSCROSS, OVER HERE!” I heard someone call out. A group of my friends and their partners were standing in a corner on the other side of the room.
“Crisscross?” Tim asked amusedly.
“Andrew Christopher Northcross… the nicknames clever isn’t it?” I said sarcastically.
We walked over, and all eyes were looking at Tim.
“Evening everyone. Let me introduce this fine young man.” I proudly placed a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “This is Tim, my lodger.”
“Hello,” Tim said awkwardly.
“Hi, Tim. Sorry to hear you weren’t able to go home for the holiday,” Darren said giving the boy a hand shake.
“You’re right, Darren. They do look alike,” Jennifer, Darren’s wife said.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Darren was saying your lodger could pass off as your long lost son,” Ross said.
“It’s the eyes and the shape of the nose,” Jennifer pointed out.
“We seem to get this a lot don’t we?” Tim said to me.
We spend the rest of the evening engaging in small talk. I was pleased to see that Tim was out of his shell. After a couple of drinks we decided to relocate to a different bar. On the way over I saw Tim chatting to Ian as we made our way across the road. We headed to the pub, and found some seats unoccupied. Tim sat next to me.
The drinks flew, and the small talk continued. I was pleased with Tim and felt proud of how he conducted himself around my friends. I patted and rubbed his knee a couple of times, and he slid up next to me. Tim held my hand and squeezed it tightly. Tim and I looked at each other and smiled. I felt his eyes were trying to say something…
“TIM, QUICK!” Ian shouted. “Which Scottish city has an underground rail network?” Tim jumped from his seat and joined a few of my friends who were pumping most of their loose change into the quiz machine on the other side of the pub.
I joined Darren outside who wanted some company whilst he had a cigarette. There was only the two of us outside in the cold air. He offered me a cigarette and I accepted.
“How long has that boy being living with you now?” Darren asked.
“Oh… he moved in two weeks after my birthday, so back end of July…” I started counting in my head. “..five, six months then.”
“OK,” he said. Darren continued to stare at me. He took a long draw of his cigarette. “Can I ask you something?”
“I guess so.”
“I don’t want to be rude, but am I right in assuming… Tim’s more than… well… have you bagged yourself a toy-boy?”
“What?” I nearly chocked on my cigarette smoke.
“It’s just I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and the way he behaves around you. There’s a lot of… admiration there. Look, if I pulled someone half my age I wouldn’t be so…”
“…it’s not like that Darren. You’ve got it all wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look, don’t let on I’ve said anything, but I get the impression that Tim didn’t exactly… leave something wonderful back in Edinburgh. He’s a very sensitive young man and what you think you see, we he looks at me… that’s trust, Darren. He trusts me to a point that’s almost heartbreaking. To be honest I don’t think he wanted to go home for Christmas and New Year; there’s something going on there that I don’t want to even think about. I know that he’s happy here, living with me, and if he’s happy I’m happy,” I said honestly.
“OK, say no more. I get it.”
The conversation turned to New Years Eve and work related matters as we continued to stand in the freezing weather. About ten minutes later Tim walked out the pub. He looked at Darren and then he saw me.
“Here you are!” he said. By the way he looked at me you could be forgiven for thinking that I abandoned him.
“Hey you, c’mere!” I said and opened my arms, and he walked over and hugged me. I felt him squeeze me as if he truly missed me – I hadn’t been gone fifteen minutes. I looked at Darren who was trying to process what I said about Tim and me and what this affectionate gesture between us meant.
“Oh God! Andy, you stink like an ashtray. You don’t normally smoke,” Tim said.
“Because he’s a bad influence on me,” I pointed towards Darren.
“He only loves you because you’re warm, Tim,” Darren said.
“He wouldn’t be for long. Where’s your coat?” I chastised Tim.
Tim stayed close to me as we finished smoking and our conversation; he pulled what he could of my coat around himself. I could feel him shivering. I threw the butt of my cigarette away and we went back in.
“You found them, then?” Jennifer asked Tim as we returned to our seats.
We bought some more drinks and continued for a couple more hours. As we stayed I got the impression that everyone had fallen in love with Tim. This made sure he was not without a drink in his hand. It was around midnight and I looked at the boy, and he looked warn out.
“You look like you’re ready for a long old sleep, Tim,” Ross said.
“I’ve been up since six. Never mind bed, I’m about ready for the knackers yard,” he said in between yawns.
We stayed there for another half an hour. Alison and Ian said there was more drinks at their house. I thought about going, but by this point Tim was practically dead to the world.
“You just want to home don’t you?” I asked, and he nodded slowly. I ordered a taxi and we made our excuses and said our goodbyes and left.
“Tim, you still awake?” I said shaking his leg. Tim lay there unresponsive. “Timmy, Timmo, Teabag, hey you alive?” I said shaking his leg some more.
“Hr wrnnr srlrp,” Tim replied, eyes closed. He was definitely not getting up any time soon.
“I’ll get you ready for bed then, shall I?” I said to myself.
I pulled off his jacket and shirt and turned him over so he was lying on his back. I united his shoes and pulled his shoes and socks off and undid his belt buckle and unbuttoned his jeans. Grabbing his jeans from the legs I slowly pulled them off. I left him lying in his t-shirt and a pair of briefs and went to get some baby powder and a nappy. I went back to the boy and pulled the briefs from the waistband and I lifted up his feet up so I could slide the nappy under his bottom. I sprinkled the powder over his bottom and genitals and I pulled the front up and began to tape up the nappy so it was tight and checked the leg gathers to see if they were snug.
A strange wave of emotion came over me. I looked down at my lodger; no, he seemed more than that to me now. He was my boy, my son. Someone I wanted take care off, look after and make sure he was safe. My sleeping boy in front of me. In a t-shirt and thick nappy. I managed to pull the bedding from under him and rested it over him. I tucked him in. I looked at my boy one final time and left for my own room.
It was Christmas morning and I was woken up by the sound of my door creak open slowly. I pretended to sleep and I could hear Tim sniggering quietly and sneaking up to my bed. Carefully, he climbed up and began to crawl slowly over to me. Feeling him crawling and hearing his nappy crinkling I tried my best to hide a smile. As he crawled closer I felt that he was about to jump on me. Before he could beat me to it I jumped up and grabbed him tightly and pulled him close. He began to laugh his adorable laugh.
“Thought you could sneak up on me did you? Eh? Get that cute little bum over here” I said. As my boy turned over I held him close. He placed his hands over mine. I squeezed tightly and we just lay there.
“Merry Christmas, Andy,” he said. I leaned over and kissed the back of his neck.
“Merry Christmas, son.” We lay there in a perfect peaceful quiet. I closed my eyes again.
“Andy,” Tim said, touching the waist of his nappy. “What happened last night?”
I sat up and began prodding Tim’s shoulder. “You, Mr. Myers, went upstairs and passed out. I went to brush my teeth and saw you sprawled out on your bed. As there was no chance of you getting yourself ready…”
“…oh God, you didn’t?!?” He said and pulled a pillow over his face and hid.
Tim was still in just a nappy and shirt. I moved my hand over the front of his nappy and squeezed the front. It was swollen.
“Well it’s a good thing I did by the looks off things,” Tim was still hiding his face. “Oh come on, Tim, you’ve got nothing I haven’t got.”
I took the pillow Tim was hiding with and I threw it on the carpet.
“I didn’t embarrass you last night when I wanted to go home?” he asked.
“What? No! Everyone knew you were tired. It’s not as if you were being sick with drink or anything. If you must know you made quite an impression. Alison and Jen both wanted to take you home with them, and I got a text from Darren saying if you don’t come out for New Year he’ll be disappointed. You made me proud, Tim,” I said and give him another kiss.
Tim turned to look at me.
“Andy, you need to get out of bed. It’s Christmas Morning.”
“And you need to get out of that nappy. I’m not having you sitting around in something wet. Do you want to change into a fresh one or are you just going to take it off and put some bottoms on?”
He sat there and mulled it over for longer than I expected.
“Well…?” I pressed him.
“A fresh one,” he said quietly.
“That wasn’t too hard to say was it?” I asked.
I went into the bathroom and got some baby wipes and some powder and into his room to grab a t-shirt and a clean nappy.
“Do you want me to take care of this?” I asked and Tim nodded.
I guided his arms up and took off his t-shirt and laid him down so I could untape his nappy. After I stripped him naked and began to clean him and finishing by lifting his legs and giving his little bum a wipe. With his legs still in the air I grabbed the nappy, opened it up and slid it under him.
“Do you just want to spend the rest of the morning in just a t-shirt and nappy?” I asked him and he nodded again.
I finished taping him into his nice clean nappy. I pulled Tim up from the bed, “Arms in the air please.” I dressed him in a t-shirt. I put my arms around him and I pulled my boy up and he shifted to the edge of the bed. I picked him up and carried him downstairs.
I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and he held me tight. I sat my boy on the floor, and I sat behind him so Tim was sitting in between my legs. I wrapped my arms around his waist.
I sat with him while he opened his presents: books, clothes, DVDs etc. He picked a present that I bought him; some video game I knew he was after. He unwrapped it and smiled.
“Thanks, Andy,” he said. I gave him a quick squeeze and he opened some more of his gifts.
“Hang on, stay there,” I said and stood up. I went into a cupboard and pulled out a large wrapped box.
“It wouldn’t be Christmas without a surprised gift.” I handed the box to Tim and resumed sitting behind him.
He looked at the box and the tag that read, “To Tim, Merry Christmas from Andy.” He turned around to look at me not expecting a second gift. He pulled the paper apart, and he opened it to find a nondescript white box. He pulled open the flap and opened the large box and looked inside. He pulled out the teddy bear he had been looking at the day we went shopping together.
“ANDY!?!” he said sounding embarrassed. I laughed and gave him quick kiss the top of his head. I originally got the bear as a joke gift, but now it seemed appropriate.
“What my boy wants, my boy gets,” I said. He looked at the bear and sat it down between his legs. “He hasn’t got a name.”
“It hasn’t got a name. Everybody needs a name.”
He shook his head in slight disbelief that I actually brought the bear for him. He looked at the bear’s face.
“Freddy,” he finally said.
“Freddy Bear?” I asked smiling.
“Yep!” Tim said, sounding pleased with the pun.
When we finished with Tim’s gifts, he crawled over to my small number of parcels on the floor and Tim brought them back to me so I could unwrap them. Tim sat in between my legs again with Freddy Bear in front of him. I picked up a small box with a tag that read “To Andy, Merry X-mas love from Tim xxx.” I pulled the paper apart and saw a small display box that contained a pair of Batman cuff-links.
“You’re too cute,” I said and give my boy wonder a kiss of the cheek.
“Enough with the kisses already!” he said wiping his face.
“I can’t help it, Tim. I just love you too much,” and I give him another kiss for good measure.
We spent the rest of the morning together. Tim playing on his games console and I cleaned all the unwanted packing and paper away. I sat on the couch for a couple of hours and watched Tim play this game that had something to do with Assassins and time travel or something. Tim tried his best to explain what was going on, but I couldn’t make head or tails of it.
“Tim, it’s nearly 1 o’clock. Can you get washed and ready please? I’ve booked the table for two-thirty,” I said. Tim finished what he was doing and turned the TV off. I checked his nappy before he left for the bathroom to find it was still dry. Deep down this made me slightly disappointed which scared me slightly. It was as if I wanted Tim to be wet so I could put him in a nappy again.
I quickly had a shower and got ready myself. When Tim has finally finished doing whatever it was to his hair, we had a slow walk up to the restaurant and enjoyed a Christmas Meal together. We had a couple of bottles of wine between us, and by the end of it all we looked like a pair of pregnant snakes. We sat there for a good ten minutes before either of us made any attempt to move. We managed to find enough energy to leave our seats and set off home.
As we were walking Tim’s hand knocked against mine. He pulled his hand back.
“Oh, sorry,” he said.
“No, it’s OK,” I said, and I turned to look at him. He stared back at me looking slightly sheepish. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. He then took his hand and slid his fingers through mine. Neither of us spoke as we walked hand in hand back home.
We arrived home, and I made me way to the couch and lay down. I didn’t feel like moving for the rest of the day. Tim walked in.
“I’ve had a nice time this afternoon,” he said.
“I’ve had a nice time too,” I admitted.
Tim put the TV on and lay next to me on the couch. He started channel surfing and finding nothing but insufferable Christmas schlock.
“Oh look Titanic’s on again,” he said sardonically. “And Sound of Music,” he continued. His attitude changed when he found The Muppet’s Christmas Carol.
“Oh my god, really?” I asked.
“If you don’t love this film your heart is a blackened lump of hate.”
Being fit to burst with food and wine we both gradually fell asleep together.
I was woken up by a warm wet sensation oozing by my side. Tim was sleeping next to me. I saw Tim’s crotch getting darker and wetter.
“TIM!” I screamed, and he jumped up startled.
“What?” he shouted back and realised what happened. He was speechless. There was nothing on the couch, but both of us were completely soaked.
“What am I going to do with you?” I asked shaking my head in disbelief. I dragged him into the bathroom. “Take everything off and give it to me!” He stood staring at me. “Now, Timothy!” I ordered.
Tim then began to undress without question. He handed me his clothes and stood in a pair of wet briefs.
“Them too… come on!” I pressed him. He kicked off his wet underwear and tried his best to hide his modesty. “Shower!” I said and walked out with a pile of wet clothes in my arms.
I went to the washing machine and put his clothes in; I took mine off and added them to the drum. I got ready quickly and waited in Tim’s room whilst he finished. Tim walked in. I was sitting on his bed.
“Andy, please don’t be mad,” he pleaded.
“I’m not mad, Tim. It’s clear that we had too much to drink this afternoon and it would be wrong to start pointing fingers, but this is just – well, it’s unbelievable. Lie down.”
“…You fell asleep and wet yourself. I’m sorry but… lie down please,” I said and tapped a space on the bed next to me.
He laid down on the bed, and I unfolded the towel he was wearing. I unfolded one of his nappies and slid it under him. I took the powder and started to sprinkle liberal amounts and rubbed it into him. I pulled the nappy over and began to fasten the tapes.
I couldn’t have Tim wetting himself again; however, I couldn’t really be angry at him as neither of us planned on going to sleep. This was the third time I’d put him in a nappy. I decided that it wasn’t going to be the last. It was clear to me that I needed to take charge of this. I was going to be solely responsible for Tim’s nappy changes, and should he feel the need for an afternoon snooze at least he would be wearing some protection lest this happen again.
“Tim, I’m going to help you into nappies from now on. Come to me when you need to wear one,” I said. I finished and turned him over slightly and give him a playful swot on his bottom. “Right, young man, go and put some pyjamas on and come back downstairs. You can play on your Xbox some more if you want.”
He lay there looking upset. He was clearly embarrassed about this whole ordeal and having said that I would be putting him in nappies was perhaps a little too much to bear. He turned to his side and grabbed a pillow and began to cuddle it. I sat next him.
“What’s the matter?” He didn’t say anything; he continued staring at the wall. “Tim, I need to make sure that you’re not going to have any more accidents. I think it would be for the best. It’s just a minor change. You didn’t seem to mind me doing it this morning did you? It’ll just be like that, OK?”
“Yeah, OK,” he said reluctantly.
“Trust me on this one.” I leaned over and hugged him. I stood up and tussled his hair. I told him to get some PJs on and I went back downstairs.
Tim came downstairs wearing a long white long sleeved shirt and his tartan cotton bottoms. He joined me in the living room and turned his game on, and he sat next to me.
“So explain to me what’s going on in this game so I can understand.”
He started to explain the game to me as he played. As I sat I couldn’t help but place my arms around Tim and pulled him close to me.
We sat together for a couple of hours as Tim played his game. Tim paused it, and he jumped up from the sofa.
“Off somewhere?” I asked.
“I need to use the toilet,” he said.
“You don’t need to use the toilet,” I grabbed his hand. “Come and sit back down with me. I’ll clean you up later.”
“I… I need to take a shit. I really don’t want to sit and crap myself.”
“That’s fair enough,” I agreed. I found the idea of shitting myself equally unappealing.
Tim ran upstairs. I heard him open the bathroom door, and slam it behind him. I sighed and stood up. I followed Tim up stairs and opened the door. Tim looked at me.
“What you doing?”
I said nothing and walked up to him and pulled his pyjama bottoms down to his ankles and got him to step out off them. I then untaped his slightly wet nappy from his cute thin body. I walked away from the bathroom and heard the door creak closed behind me. I waited until he was finished. I walked in and caught him mid-wipe.
“Fucking Jesus Christ, how about a little privacy?!?” he exclaimed, and then stared at the baby wipes and nappy in my hands.
“Lie down please,” I asked.
“Lie down on the floor so I clean you up,” I elaborated.
“You’ve got to be kidding me, you’re not fucking serious? You can’t be fucking serious?”
“I told you early that I’ll be changing your nappies,” I reminded Tim.
“Yeah, but you don’t have to wipe my fucking arse clean. Or are you going to start doing that from now on too? God, don’t be so fucking weird! What the hell is wrong with you? You’re sick in the head. I can wipe my own backside. Piss off you fucking freak!” He started pushing me. “Get out and leave me alone you fucking pervert!” he said and pushed me towards the door.
Now I was angry, very angry. I dropped what I was holding and I grabbed Tim by the waist and held him tight so he couldn’t move, and I gave him the hardest smack on his backside that all my strength could muster.
“OWW!” Tim yelped and jumped.
“You will NOT speak to ME like that in MY house.” I gave his bum another hard smack. “I will not have some fucking KID run his mouth at me. I’m doing nothing short of trying to help you my dear boy, and you will not speak to me with that kind of disrespect again. Because, trust me, son, I will pack your bags so fucking fast you’ll be out on the street before you know it. Do I make myself clear?” I asked, Tim was in a shocked silence. “DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?” I shouted and smacked his backside a third time.
“Y…ye…yes!” he stammered out.
“Floor, NOW!” I let go of Tim.
He was visually shaken by this. He looked at me scared and nervously lay on the ground. I lifted his legs up and I got to cleaning him up. When I was satisfied he was clean I flushed the wipes down the toilet and slid a nappy under Tim and taped him securely and put him in his pyjamas and sat him up.
“I’m sorry, Andy,” he said, eyes full of tears.
“Get to bed!” I ordered.
I escorted him into his room and he climbed into bed.
“Andy…?” he began saying, choking on tears. He had his arms stretched out for a hug.
“…I don’t want to speak to you for the rest of night.” I spun on my heels and flicked off the light and made my way downstairs.
I went to bed shortly after that. After I stopped feeling hotheaded I lay awake for two hours thinking about what happened. I had put my own desire to look after Tim before any boundaries. I realised I had over-stepped the mark and I felt ashamed of myself. Tim’s going to want to move out now because of this, I thought. He’s going to move out and you’ll never see him again. I couldn’t forgive myself for hitting him. I had visions in my head of Tim packing up his things and saying, “Perhaps it would be best if I looked for somewhere else to live”. I felt like crying.
I walked into the bathroom and ran the cold tap. I washed my face in the vain hope it would make thing seem better. It didn’t. I looked at my reflection and stood shaking my head feeling angry with myself. I walked back to my room and climbed into my bed again, and I returned to staring at the ceiling.
My bedroom door opened. I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw Tim standing by the door-frame. Holding his teddy bear by the hand, his nappy peeking out of his pjs bottoms as they had slid down slightly, and his eyes were watery, red and puffy from crying; he looked like a sorrowful, lost little boy.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” I asked, holding back tears. Tim replied by wiping his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve. I moved along the bed and pulled back the covers for him. Tim smiled slightly and slid in.
He pulled his face close to mine, and he kissed me on the cheek and laid next to me. I pulled him close, and I burst into tears of shame and guilt.
“I’m sorry Tim”. I started smothering him with kisses. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”
“Andy, I’m sorry I swore and was rude to you, I really am. Ever since I moved in you’ve done nothing but make me feel welcome. You’ve been kind and looked after me, letting me stay this week; and it was wrong for me to throw it back in your face and say such horrible things to you.”
“No, Tim, don’t you dare apologise. If anyone should be sorry it should be me. I’m sorry for what I said and what I did. I feel as though I took away your dignity and your trust. It was inexcusable and I’m sorry. I was completely out of line. You had every right to be angry with me. I really don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I won’t change your nappies any more, I promise. I…” I began to weep more and Tim wiped my face with his hand.
“Andy… I can’t describe it… but I feel… like when you’re looking after me… I feel… safe. When I’m with you I safe. Like, everything is all right because you’re going to take care of me, and when you changed my nappy this morning it was the safest I’ve ever felt. And last night at the pub, when you left for a cigarette I felt… scared… because I didn’t know where you were. What I feel with you I’ve never experienced anything like it with anyone before, and I like it. I love living here and love living with you. I want to put this behind us and move on, can we forget about it please? I’m sorry.” He sobbed.
“Yes Tim,” I said. “I’m sorry too.”
“Are we friends again?” he asked humbly. I smiled and I gave my boy a hug and kissed him.
“Yeah, we’re friends again.” I rubbed his back as we lay quietly together for a few minutes.
“Andy,” Tim said as he lay against my body. “You’re my best friend you know.”