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Finding a Daddy

adopting adult baby boyIs it possible for an adult baby to find a Daddy? Where do you look? And for a Daddy, while it might sometimes seem like there’s lots of awesome little boys out there – why does it sometimes seem so difficult to make the right connection?

I’ve received hundreds of e-mails from readers of this site. I’ve always tried to answer them all (although the last year has been a little rough and I’ve had less time to post and respond than usual…as regular readers can tell!)

With all those e-mails there are a few questions that come up consistently.

One of them is “how do I find a Daddy?”

So this post is a bit of a detour for me. It’s based on one person’s experience and opinion.

There are no rules. There are no ‘one size fits all’ answers.

The “Real” and the Real Daddy/AB Relationship
Daddy/AB relationships are real. But I’d put a special emphasis on the word ‘real’.

For two people to make the special connection that you find between a little one and his Daddy, the starting place is the amazing history, experiences and life context that you each have as adults.

Sure, you might initially ‘bond’ through discussions of diapers and baby time and Legos, but the foundations of trust and care that you need to create a connection comes from an acknowledgement of the entirety of your experiences.

I’ve written many times that one of the joys of caring for an AB is that he’s an “A” and a “B”.

And the same is true of Daddys: someone can be your Daddy, but he also has a job and family and a dog that needs to go for a walk!

In my opinion, one of the most important things you can do as you look for a ‘Daddy’ is to find the time for you both to understand the place of your potential relationship in your ‘larger life’.

Imagine a Daddy with a busy job or family commitments who has a little guy tell him “I want to be a full-time baby!” For some Daddy’s it can be a dream come true – but it can also be a little scary. They didn’t jump in looking for a full-time job….they simply wanted to explore and find a special connection and to see where it went from there.

It can be amazing to dream and imagine and describe a life in which you’re able to be who you are inside – a little boy or baby who needs his diapers and his Daddy.

But also take the time to simply say: “But I know everything happens in time and that we have lives and that means a lot to me too.”

Where Did All the Daddy’s Go?
So you know that once you start chatting with a Daddy that you shouldn’t JUST talk about diapers and bottles – but where do you find a Daddy to chat with in the first place?

And the truth is, finding a Daddy’s about the same as finding a boyfriend or partner: you just never know where they’re going to show up!

Now, some of the people who read this site don’t seem to know about all of the AB/DL sites out there. Sites like RUPadded, Diaperspace, or ABKingdom.

[Editors note: RUPadded is no longer with us!]

But for those who DO know about the community sites, it’s important to see them as communities: a group of like minded people that include ABs/DLs/littles and Daddys.

Chat with other ABs in your area. Make friends. Get to know people. If your singular focus is looking for profiles of people who are ‘Daddys’ then you’ll miss out. The AB ‘community’ is about sharing, support and finding common ground.

Sometimes, you’ll make connections the old fashioned way: a friend of a friend, a recommendation, or someone who might be an AB himself sometimes but feels special ‘daddy’ feelings when it comes to you!

Again, meeting someone is a lot like meeting a boyfriend, girlfriend or partner: you meet them through a friend, you make a connection where it’s least expected. It doesn’t usually happen by sitting at home – and even on-line, you need to connect with different people because you never know where it will lead you!

Get Outside the Playpen
Now, this might be my own history speaking, but I’m also a big believer that the connection between a little boy and a ‘daddy’ more often than not happens outside the AB community.

You meet someone through Facebook, you go to a party, you meet someone at the gym or while volunteering – and there seems to be a kind of ‘connection’ – they take on a more natural protective role and you feel more ‘little’ with them even though it’s outside of your ‘AB life’.

It can seem terrifying to blurt out to someone who doesn’t know your AB side: “Diaper me!”

And yet….I really do believe that one of the best ways to meet a Daddy is to meet someone nice, to create trust and understanding, and to find ways to bring up your ‘little’ side with them: to mention how you like Disney movies, to wear a cute cartoon t-shirt….and, eventually, to have the nerve to simply say: “Sometimes I feel like I need, um, a special kind of protection.”

It might sound terrifying and unrealistic, but I’ve heard about it happening more times than I can count. And its happened to me!

So don’t close yourself off to meeting people ‘outside’ the AB community: post on a dating site and put in your profile ‘perpetually a little boy’ and see what happens!

Starting the Conversation
I’d like to hear from the Daddy’s out there. I’d love to hear about what attracts you to a little guy when you first start chatting.

One of the things I find is that little guys jump into a ‘role’ and that sometimes it feels like they want to keep it there. They enjoy the ‘fantasy’ on-line but it sometimes feels like that’s where they want to keep it.

There’s nothing wrong with that. For many people, they only want an on-line Daddy. And the same is true of Daddys! As long as you’re clear that it’s a sort of ‘on-line RP’ then no one will be disappointed.

But regardless of whether you start talking on-line or ‘for real’ I think it’s important for you both to create a sense of trust and understanding by sharing your dreams and desires, but also sharing other stuff: the special ‘safe space’ between a Daddy and his little guy happens bit-by-bit.

Trust, Understanding and Boundaries
Which brings me to the most important thing about ‘finding a Daddy’ – and about being a Daddy who’s looking for a little guy in his life, whether on-line, for a weekend, or for life.

For a little guy to give you his trust and that special vulnerable space he gets to when expressing his ‘little side’ you need to absolutely understand and respect his boundaries and needs.

I feel sad to hear stories of little guys talk about Daddy’s who don’t respect their boundaries. For example, they might have boundaries about how they dress in public (or even what they’re dressed in while at home in private!) They might have boundaries about discipline (spankings or no spankings), they might have strong feelings about messy diapers or might prefer the bathroom be locked!

And many little guys will have very strict boundaries about ‘adult stuff’….it might be “that will never happen” or “it would only happen if I trusted you” ….and yet the Daddy focuses on that first!

As a Daddy you need to express to your little guy that you’re there to create a safe space for them to express who they are. And if you do that first then you’ve taken an important first step in creating the very real connection between a Daddy and his baby boy.

But I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

There are so many people who want to know: how do you meet a Daddy? What advice would you give?

87 Replies to “Finding a Daddy”

  2. In response to Andrews comment as a sexual relationship between a daddy and his AB being a gross perversion. I think he has forgot that AB stands for adult and baby. In most situations your going to spend time with the “big” and “little” side of you AB’s personality. I wouldn’t think of having sex with him while he is “little” that would seem like child molesting. When he is “big” he can be my lover. I personally can’t imagine a better relationship. It sort of like that old song lyrics ” daytime friends, nighttime lovers.” You have to separate your relationship into two parts. Daddy and his baby boy. The flip side. Two men that love each other and want to make each other happy. My relationship with my baby boy has not moved into a sexual relationship, yet. I hope it will eventually!!

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  3. Thanks for the article ABDL Daddy.

    You touch on some salient points about starting the conversation with daddy. The way an AB approaches this opening conversation can be the difference between success and failure.

    I have lost count of the times the opening of a conversation has been daddy will you (a) change my nappy/diaper without any idea if i do online play (b) will you phone me or text me (c) Will you cam with me. Find out if daddy likes online play on the case of (a) and as for (b) and (c) they are things that should be for discussion maybe in later conversations

    From my point of view i would advise any AB to think careful about the initial approach. Approach it like you would if you were looking for a date as in effect you are looking for a life partner or someone you want to spend time with

    A daddy and baby relationship is 2 sided and limits should be respected on both sides. I have things i would not do as part of that relationship and like wise would respect the limits of an AB.

    As for the debate over whether a Daddy and AB should include a sexual element i would agree it is not appropriate when your AB is in baby mode. When he is not being an AB then yes by all means.

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  4. Hehe Cools.. Well I found me Daddy on a Furry Site.. aka Furaffinity 🙂 cause me and Him are Furrys.. plus were Equally DL/AB… Hehe ^^ He wears all the time.. and do to now since im wiving with him 🙂 .. Tomorrow adventure is to maybe sweep in a cwib 🙂

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  6. That was a VERY nice article Daddy. I have to say I have had limited experience except when the net first came on line and I had a couple experiences with local AB / DL people in person to find out what it was all about and WHY I was the way I am etc. etc. I cannot say that I would ever go to a F/T AB relation and have a Daddy although the thought is entertaining at times. However, at the same time I would really have to consider what that meant for me because of being an A…. B….. (new sentence) For me because you are more than likely living with that person and they are your Daddy then you have to live by their rules and follow their directions at least while you are not at Nursery School (work) and they likewise have those rules to follow for the best interest of their baby boy. I like the strict rules for me at home except when they are not convenient i.e. not tired so do not want to go to bed. But the reality of being a baby is different and in order to make it as real as possibly one needs to follow directions of the Daddy or there are consequences. As late as today I decided for example to start a Baby Boy daily rewards chart for the month with a $10 treat at the end of the month from Toys R Us to keep it fun while at the same time staying in the frame of what is AB. So I put in there things like – High Chair, Crib time, Nap time, Play time, Bottle time, and I have to get a certain percentage of that cooperatively done and I would assume with a Daddy it might be the same structure- maybe not. The other problem out there is even IF I were to find someone for this lifestyle would we be compatible and in what areas? Would he be here where I live, what would the challenges be? There are so many questions like Daddy said its endless. So while I would not rule it totally out I would not think it likely to happen in our limited community where there are not alot of us. -Baby TODDler 🙂

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  7. *sigh* There’s always something about your articles that just make my heart flutter! They’re beautiful work and you have this great skill in breaking everything apart to their purest elements.

    I haven’t had the pleasure of having a daddy in real life, but I have had a couple of good and thoughtful people to talk to online. It may not replace the real thing, but its a satisfying temporary solution.

    I hope one day I can find a daddy somewhere in northeast Ohio and actually be able to experience all those golden moments you’ve talked about time and time again in you’re beautifully written articles.

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  8. i with you there daddyjosh, talking outside the baby box is one good thing, getting to know people is another, make new friends, get to know people, before spamming a chatroom, WITH, I WANT A DADDY, if this is want your offering no daddy will speak to you, and most would put you over there knees if you did that in real life, having a nice honest profile online is good, and come off it lads, when you lie about things, you think daddy dose not know, keep it honest online, and i would start talking to people, not sitting in a chatroom waiting for a daddy to turn up, there not buses, 3 will not turn up on there own, you need to put out your hand and flag one down,

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  9. I can really relate to many of the experiences listed here. I started out a few years back as an AB with some success of finding good friends. A couple of which I felt I had a good connection with and am still in contact with. After a break from the AB world, I decided recently to come back as a Daddy, but as DaddyUK has observed, I also have lost count of the number of ABs I’ve come across who don’t take the time to think about what kind of Daddy they really want and how their AB desires can be realistically fitted into the real world. An AB and Daddy have more chance of really connecting in a meaningful way if they are truly compatible eg having the same non-ABDL hobbies/interests or perhaps supporting the same sports team is a good place to start… so why do so many ABs not take the time to deal with this bit first?

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  10. Hi there everyone from a dad that lives down under in Sydney Australia.

    I am an experienced dad to AB boys. Ive had many wonderful experiences with some of the sweetest boys.

    When I start to chat to a baby, I try to establish the little guys personality. For me its not about the cutest or best looking boy, it is about the natural baby, that is what attracts me.

    When I say natural baby, I mean his manerisms, the way he interacts with me, a boy who has common manners and respect. One thing I have learnt is you get people out there who take and take.

    My best experiences have been when I have taken my time to get to know a boy, understand what he is looking for and I try to create an environment where the boy feels comfortable.

    I always tell a boy that he should only do what he is comfortable doing, I never impose myself on a boy.For a boy to show his baby side to a daddy is a massive step, I feel I have a duty of care to ensure that any experience he has with me makes him feelcomfortable.

    I am an AB at heart and I try to baby a guy as I would like to be babied.

    I see the potential little boy in every man I meet, I have at least 7 boys here in Australia who call me dad and I am honoured that they do.

    For me, being a dad is so natural and something I love to do.

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  14. Very interesting insight daddy. I unfortunately had a bad experience with my ex-daddy. I think its important to communicate and respect boundaries. We arent little boys all the time and too much control can be a bad thing. And then add sexual encounters with old men can really scare a little guy.

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  15. I am stunningly impressed with the quality of comment here. Thanks guys for the well presented prose. The biggest thanks surely go to abdldaddy (who ever you are) for representing the tame, non sexualised ‘daddies’ who like the synergy of companionship from others, whom they accept and are accepting of them.

    I am gay and will never have kids which I always longed for. My daddying gives me the opportunity to engage with guys who know that I will not judge them, look after them well beyond an ‘session’ or ‘meeting’ and care for them as though they were my own.

    The only discrimiation I have in place, is my age is 47, so there is a natural awkwardness to anyone above the age of about 35.

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  16. Thanks daddy. Reading this convinced me it was time to come out of my shell and try to meet people. I joined a chatroom for the first time and really enjoyed it. Being a little guy has been lonely, but maybe now I can meet some friends!

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  20. I Found My Two Special Baby Boys On Your Website
    (Abdldaddy.com)Because They We’re Looking For a Daddy & They Are Ages
    Baby Patrick 3(30) & Baby Dean 4(40) & They Will Be Moving In With Me
    In About Two Years!

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  23. What garbage … you have no real insight only your fantasies and you’re to afraid to act on them yourself. I don’t get how you can keep it up year after year ;(

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  26. I wonder what got ab-discontinued’s diaper in a wad. Maybe he has a bad case of diaper rash and is irritable.

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  32. finding a propper daddy would be the best thing in the world, unfortuantly they are few and far between, especially for us babies that were born pre internet as most daddy types are looking for the younger cute ones (fair enough i can understand why) and when i was younger (in body) there was no way of contacting anyone outside of cruising the gay scene and even then it was very underground due mainly to ridicule.
    Some boys are in it for the roleplay but myself see it more as a lifestyle ( not so much by choice as i have aspergers) i tend to think differently, im not very confident i still sleep with my teddy and the thought of going cruising for a guy totally freaks me out- also when they find im incontinent and need to wear they seem to loose interest, i need security and to be loved and accepted for who i am, im 43 going on 3 and have really stopped looking mainly due to shyness and i have trouble keeping contact with people as they tend to get bored with me or i say something weird and they just disapear, met a few nice daddys over the years and had a few weekends here and there but i guess i wasnt there type so that was it and since i got ill theres probaby even less chance but i still dream, had a bad 2 years so not been online much and almost everywhere i used to go has disapeared so all my contacts have moved on to?? if anyone remembers me feels free to message me or maybe a nice daddy? i live to dream and dream to live. nappy chrismas all hope santa brings you what you dream of huggs.

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  35. I really need someone to talk to, a daddy preferred. I have never done the sort of things babyboys and babygirls on here have done, no experience what so ever. But I can’t help but like what I hear and like it all. Any chance I can talk to you and get some understanding? Please? – 07432087197

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  37. Hello I’m Jack i’m 21in south wales, looking for a daddy. very new to all this and havent found anyone yet to really chat to. I’m not a daddy myself at all, total baby

    nappeeuk your entry sounded great. would love to chat to u where abouts r u?

    If there are any daddys in my area or near please drop me a line applessauce123@yahoo.com

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  44. Je suis un papa expérimenter qui aimerais adopter adult baby qui regresse a l’age de 15 a 20 mois,tout est est bien expliquer sur mon blog
    Si tu veut un papa et que tu comprend le francais reviens moi.
    Papa

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  45. I was blessed with a little type thanks to this wonderful web site. Some time has been spent in setting up guidlines.

    You must be open so when you roleplay no one gets “hurt”. What are the limits?

    For one, I am into this for fun and definately not sex. Sex is out. Fun only.

    When I leave messages, I try to leave my e-mail address. Seems to help. Thanks, Stevie transitoperator@msn.com

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  49. Very interesting. I’m an Adult Baby boy looking for a daddy. I’m from Tacoma, Washington. I’m 40 yrs old going on 2 yrs old. I’m single and gay, I need to wear diapers, because I still wet my pants, but I also like wearing diapers. If you live in the Tacoma, Washington area and you wish to meet, please let me know. Have a nice day.

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  51. Hi my name is Alex , im from to Mexico but in 2 years will live in USA. Im a AB , Toddler , Babyfur . I like drink milk or juice in my baba , wear diapers , many time 24/7 . Sleep with my plushies and my pacifier .

    Im looking a Daddy . I want be care , change my diapers . Who adopt me?
    I love be a Baby! ?

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  52. hi I am looking for a baby daddy to treat me like an adult baby and everything because I like acting like an adult baby so please email me if u want to have me and treat me like an adult baby please sincerely Melissa stotts

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  53. Check the adult baby and/or diaper lover sites. Once a date is settled on be certain that you meet in a public place for safety. Then when you feel comfortable the go from there. Safety first. Hugs, Stevie transitoperator@msn.com

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  54. I met my first AB recently and have spent a few days together. Since then I am planning to meet a few more for a proper daddy/baby time.
    Proper Daddy/Baby time is great.
    Adult time can be part of a meet – but should never be the focus and Baby should choose when to be adult – not Daddy.

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  56. I do not know where to start I want to be adopted I have been looking for a Daddy for a very long time now I use to be part of DPF I met some very interesting people, but they only wanted me to be there Daddy or even mommy so I never really found the daddy that I needed , I even meet someone who made me changer my own wet diaper, I need someone who is strong , love babies or tattlers able to take control of their little one, or even pick up their baby and rock him or here to sleep I am very shy able to versatile open to suggestion and very obedient to Daddy and submissive, I needed the daddy who likes to explore and go to Disneyland Noxberyy farm and university studio’s love watching cartoons playing catch and being tickled playing ball slides an love wearing baby cloths if you like to contact me please free to do so I am 5/9 half tall good shape and would prefer if daddy was taller them me my first choice. but I am not to picky. looking forward to hear from you My E-mail is tiekeyy@msn.com If you would like to call me use my email and I’ll send you my phone number but through E-mail first to see if we are compatible

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  60. I am an asian ab living in NYC. a colleage student now . I am looking for a daddy who adopts me and take care of me like a little one. I dream of being someone’s baby over the weekend. I am in good shap, sned me a message if u like to know more about me.

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  61. Wanted Baby Boy’s,Baby Girl’s,Sissy Babies
    From The UK Only Who Wants a Daddy!
    Daddy Tony(UK)
    Mobile: 07749113090
    Daddy Will Not Answer Witheld Or Private Number
    Email: tonybrown747@gmail.com
    BBM(BlackBerry Messenger):224B60C3

    Reply

  62. I have looked for a daddy for a long time. I don’t really know what to say or expect. If you are in the virginia area, please feel free to message me at songblades@yahoo.com
    please be for real, and don’t play bad head gsmes with me. ok, I go play army now.

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  63. I’m in Southern California , and have always been looking to be adopted by a nice dad. I’m sweet kind and really like teddy bears. Email me okay?

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  64. There are many AB and few daddy’s & This thing is meaningful, there should not be a daddy for every AB, i think 1 daddy is enough to practice his fatherhood over five AB & i think It is not wrong if they cooperate with each other for paying him monthly in exchange for his effort in raising them, disciplining them, and putting them in difficult and embarrassing situations that they need, & off course serving him as a dad deserve.
    For me i believe it’s absolutely fine to be a member in an AB group that has one daddy & i will try to be the best boy & i don’t mind to be the one who punished more than his prothers and it would be nice to taste the bitterness of embarrassment when Daddy punishes me by standing naked without movement & biting a soap while my brothers are dressed in their beautiful pajamas and playing together & feel sorry about me but it is nice to be a lesson to others sometimes & feel the shame Tickling your heart.
    I need a daddy to chat with me email: armd311@gmail.com.

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  65. I’m boy. who Looking for a Daddy in Scotland, how can look after me and put nappy and rubber pants on top of my nappy because I’m not potty trained. A Daddy how can put a dummy in his little boys pocket to remember his daddy. Daddy who can check his little boy wet nappy if need change.

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  66. I’m boy, Looking for a Daddy in Scotland, a Daddy who can put a dummy in his little boys pocket to remember his daddy, who can check his little boy wet his nappy or not and put rubber pants on him.

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  71. hi Rebecca
    i live in Melbourne 27 male Asexual looking just to take care of a little i have strong maternal side towards littles i keep sex and poopy nappies off the table everthibg else relating to taking care of baby is fine, if your guy or girl i dont mind if your interested message me at
    @bowaceab (instagram)
    its my abdl account i do drawings

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  72. Long Island, New York little boy Jared. Always did better when looked after for baby bottle feedings, tied bibs, and laid down for pee pee diapers changing. I am a good boy.

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  79. Im a daddy to a baby boy myself and he’s only a few months younger than me, he’s 25 im 26 and because we both share a little space connection is like im a young daddy to him and its just so beautiful the connection we have. The way his beautiful eyes look into mine when im holding him or he’s curled up against me going to sleep. I love my baby boy so much. What attracts me to him is his ability to trust in me that I will provide that sage space for him, he looks almost like shawn mendes, he’s got a beautiful personality and a beautiful heart. He’s kind and caring and understanding.

    Reply

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