As you get ready for the day, you glance into the living room and see your little boy playing with his Legos or plushy, dressed in his diaper and the cute t-shirt with the little cuddly bears on it.
You hear him make little gurgle noises as he plays, you watch as he sucks on his paci, and you see the happy face of….well, of a toddler or little boy – someone who looks like a grown man to a lot of the world, but who looks to you like a baby boy in diapers.
As you get ready to take your little guy out shopping there’s a part of you that wants to just slip him into a pair of overalls with snaps up the legs, or if it’s warm enough shortalls with a paci pinned to his shirt.
But being a Daddy to an adult baby means respecting limits – not just for your little guy, but for other people in the world too.
So is there a magic ‘limit’ you shouldn’t cross with your little boy in public? If you dress him in more ‘adult’ clothes does it mean you don’t recognize that he’s really just a baby boy who needs his Daddy and his diapers?
Safety and Boundaries
First, as a Daddy, the most important thing you can do is to help make your little guy feel safe to be who he is: an adult baby who needs to express the toddler inside, the little boy – but who also has an ‘adult’ side with responsibilities and friends and his own limits and boundaries.
Over time, you’ll discover what those boundaries are. Some little guys will have very few: they’re proud of who they are and don’t mind if all the world knows. It’s a decision they’ve made and you can feel comfortable respecting that decision.
Others might have school or jobs and for them it’s very important to have a balance between the ‘adult’ things they want in life and knowing that in spite of that they’re still your baby boy and need more than anything a lot of space to express the little sides of themselves and all the needs they have.
Establishing an understanding of what makes your little guy feel secure in the world is something that will change over time and the way that it changes is the reason you’re his Daddy: to be there as you build a safe ‘island’ in the world for who he is, and to explore new ways to care for him over time.
Diapered at the Mall
Once you understand your little guy’s limits….it’s also time to understand your own: your own needs and what makes you feel connected to your little boy.
For example, imagine you take your little guy to the mall to buy new shoes. Or to a movie to watch the new Disney movie. How would you feel as his Daddy if he didn’t have a diaper on?
For myself, keeping a little guy in diapers is an important way to let him know that you love him for being your little boy, and knowing he’s diapered makes me feel safe and secure.
Knowing that he’s protected and that he’ll need Daddy to check and change him is a special feeling for me and gives me an important sense of connection.
Even if a little boy is nervous about wearing diapers in public, your job as his Daddy is to make him feel secure and to gently protect him and make him know that everything will be all right.
The truth is, almost no one will notice he’s wearing diapers so long as you carefully choose his outfit: slightly baggy jeans or khakis maybe.
As his Daddy, you can diaper your little boy and dress him for a day out and know you’re making the right decision: a toddler needs his diapers, and you’re simply fulfilling his needs.
He may be nervous, but in this case Daddy knows best: only you and your little guy will notice the crinkle as he walks down the street, or notice the diaper peeking up slightly at the back of his jeans.
Dressed for a Day
But other than diapers, how should you dress your little guy for a day out?
It might depend if you’re going for dinner with friends. Or maybe you’ve planned a Daddy/Son day at the zoo.
But I think of dressing a little boy for a day out as the ‘magic of the in-between’ – finding clothes and outfits that are somewhere ‘in-between’ adult and baby boy.
For example, a onesie with cute bears on it might be too babyish, but a t-shirt with Toy Story characters on it is ‘in-between’.
A paci on a ribbon might be too babyish, but a paci on a little silver chain can look like he’s a cool club kid (or gang member, I guess – so maybe it depends where you live! HAHA)
Or think of getting him some colorful sneakers with velcro straps instead of laces. Or a backpack with cartoon characters on them.
There are lots of ways to make sure your boy feels happy and comfortable being your little boy – without offending other people or stepping over boundaries.
As a Daddy you can be creative in making sure your adult baby boy always knows that you’re his Daddy and that there’s no ‘on/off’ switch for being little.
But what about you? If Daddy dressed you for a day out, what are your limits? What’s your favorite outfit for a trip to the movies or the mall? And do you mind when Daddy diapers you for a day at the park?