I am walking into dangerous and controversial territory when I ask the question: is there such thing as a diaper which is “too wet”? Because while both daddys and adult babies might agree that if there are puddles forming under the ground of your little guy then yes, he’s probably too wet and needs a change – but other than that there seems to be a dividing line somewhere that a daddy will not pass.
For the adult baby, the feeling of a wet and squishy diaper seems to elicit a special feeling: that only a baby boy would be sitting in such a wet diaper, and that he must need a daddy if he can be so soaked.
You might slip behind him as he plays with his Legos and check his diaper and find your little guy is soggy right through to the bum. Saying to him: “You’re soaked, we should get you changed” will only elicit an innocent little stare and a slight shaking of the head.
For the daddy to an adult baby this can be a confusing moment: but the fact that he doesn’t seem to want to be changed isn’t a sign that he doesn’t need his daddy, it’s a sign instead that sometimes a wet diaper can give him as much of a sense of security as a dry one.
The Comfort of a Squishy Diaper
I have to admit that as a daddy I don’t always understand the feelings that a little guy has about his diapers or the role of his daddy in his life.
I could never entirely understand why a little guy would prefer to continue playing with his toys in a wet diaper rather than have the nice dry padding of a crinkly clean one.
But it occurred to me that one reason has to do with diaper technology itself: with today’s disposable diapers able to absorb plenty of liquid, your little guy might not even be aware that he is wet.
Over time, using his diaper has become second nature and he might sort of sub-consciously sense himself wetting but will often lose awareness and will come to rely on his daddy to check and change him.
A soaked diaper gives him feedback which today’s diapers don’t give when merely ‘wet’, especially for an adult baby who uses his diapers without thinking.
The heaviness of the diaper, a slight sense of moisture, and the way it feels a little warm when it reaches a saturation point is actually reinforcing to him that he needs his diapers, and this feeling can be reassuring and calming.
Change Time for the Soaked Little Boy
A daddy knows best. You will learn your little guy’s rhythms. You will know that a diaper change before a nap, for example, is probably a good idea: he always seems to wet a lot when he sleeps.
You will know when bath time is and might elect not to change him just yet, knowing he’ll be squeaky clean soon enough and ready for a thick night diaper.
And sometimes, knowing his rhythms means knowing when to let him stay in his soaked diaper for a while, realizing that the feeling of being wet is actually reassuring him that it’s OK: it’s OK to be in a diaper, it’s OK to use it, and it’s OK to be soaked – he’s a little boy and that’s what happens to little boys!
Somewhere between the positive reinforcement of a soaked diaper and the discomfort he might feel if left too long is the time when daddy can lead him to the change table and get him into a clean diaper.
As you pat him on his bum, the reassuring thump on his cleanly diapered rear will be another little signal that daddy knows he will soak sometimes, and that he will take care of his little guy.
Learning his rhythms and understanding that what might not at first make sense to daddy is usually just another sign that he feels safe, that he wants the positive reinforcement that it’s OK to be in your care, and that wet or dry he’s still a little guy who will probably never be out of diapers or his daddy’s care.
Even MY cloth DIAPERS get soaked but unless they are dripping it just does not feel like it NEEDS to be changed. My drippy peepee will only start the cycle again anyways. I place a lot of trust in my rubber panties because the fabric can only hold so much,
Daddy Josh, That was wonderful to read. It hits so close to how we as AB’s feel a need to be wet. Safe in my crib knowing I am in a diaper and my crib and clothes will not get wet. Since I have nursery school in both AM and PM I get changed before school around 6:00 AM then by 9:30 or 10:00 AM (after an activity) at the latest before lunch and nap time on most days, then a change for afternoon nursery school at about 1:00 PM and then after dinner at about 5:00 -5:30 PM and then another one by 9:30 or 10:00 PM before crib time in baby land and I do it again and again every single day around the clock. 🙂
Fells so nice to read this 🙂
ça doit couté trés cher de changer sa couche aussi souvent moi je met des couches lavables pour la nuit et deux changes jetables dans la journée et il faut que ça tienne mais avec une culotte plastique il n’y a pas de probléme
thanks daddy for another great article. I am a cloth baby and I like to feel my wet baby diapers from my belly button to my lower back. I feel that daddy knows best about changing times but it is so nice to know that I can be myself, a baby boy, with a diaper soaked from end to end.
daddy shows us again how he truly understands the mind of the adult baby boy. for me there is nothing like having a hug from daddy while he pats my diapered bottom…squishy wet or softly dry, it definitely elicits a special feeling.
so true baby Jimmy both affirming daddy’s understanding and the wonderful feel of daddy’s affectionate pat on my diapered bottom.
Yes, it is certainly true that staying in a wet diaper for a while can deepen the experience of regression and intensify the awareness of being dependent on Daddy..
It is also true that any daddy worthy of the name gets to know his Baby’s rythms and to be sensitive and responsive to Baby’s unique feelings and needs, and that is indeed a precious part of the daddy-baby bonding..
In my experience, when a Baby messes his nappy he regresses even more deeply and the daddy-baby bonding becomes even more intense, because Baby is surrendering himself to his daddy’s care with total vulnerability and trust.. He has all the pluck of a skydiver who steps from the aircraft into the void, trusting the parachute to support him.. The bonding intensifies for Daddy too, as he gets to know the rythm of Baby’s bowels, to recognise Baby’s smells, to know Baby’s metabolism..
I hope this doesn’t seem gross. It is certainly not intended to be so. For me, these experiences touch some of the most delicate and sensitive aspects ( total vulnerability, unguarded trust, unconditional love and acceptance ) of what it is to be human.
Baby / Daddy Johnnie ( Sydney, Australia).
Baby johnnie. If u could be a daddy. I’m in Aussie too. But I’m down and ur up there. Do u noe any other daddys down in SA?
Maybe you should post something that cover this rythm of Baby’s bowling and wet.
Daddy Johnnie knows best. He looks forward to changing my messy nappies.
‘wet or dry he’s still a little guy who will probably never be out of diapers or his daddy’s care’. – This part really struck a cord with me.
I recently lost my daddy.
He is still my boyfriend but during our last baby/daddy play he said some really hurtful things about my baby-time and ruined any trust I had in him to be my daddy. Since then I haven’t been padded or done anything baby around him because it feels wrong. He keeps asking to be my daddy again and I refuse each and every time. I wont even let him talk about it anymore.
As a daddy, what would you do in this situation?
I really want my daddy back but as a baby who’s been hurt I don’t know how to trust him with that side of me again.
Awww little one – the bond between a daddy and their baby can be so fragile and I’m so sorry you felt hurt. I don’t know all the specifics but I also hear you saying that he wants to try again, so if his intentions are good then the important thing first is to try to resolve the feelings that happened when he hurt you.
As a daddy I know I can be human too. Sometimes I don’t realize that even casual friends see something more or need something more and I might say things that hurt them or I dishonor their experiences. I usually don’t intend for it to happen, but even a daddy can be human and make mistakes.
A daddy will also go through a lot of feelings caring for someone. I don’t think it’s well understood how powerful those feelings can be. They can bring up memories, emotions and frustrations that have nothing to do with the little one they care for – this is one of the blessings really, that both people can learn and grow (even if one stays little!)
Maybe you can bring the “A” in “AB” to the table and talk gently about your feelings and ask him what he was going through to hurt you?
I’m sorry I can’t give better advice, all I know is that as a daddy I can make horrible mistakes too and it can be difficult to express that weakness to a little one, and yet when I do it strengthens the bond we share.
Dear Daddy,
Thankyou so much for taking the time out to reply to me. You gave very sound advice and I suppose as a baby I never really thought of daddy as human, to me he always seems unfallible and a pillar of strength. ‘B’ me needs to realise that daddy’s can make mistakes too.
I hope one day I can feel strong enough to talk to him about this again.
Thankyou so much again,
xxxx
I am now trying using a cathitor. Its been fun so far but it is difficult for me still to judge when I need changed….cause I don’t even know how much im really wetting till its about to overflow or I check my diaper myself! But thats part of being an adult baby and I can handle it :). Would be nice to have a daddy to check me….but im ok without too!
Brandyn, I know how you feel and it would be nice sometimes but I am OK without it too. Be careful with the cathetors because of Urinary Tract Infections as I have heard about it.
i dont always know when i want to be changed. i know when my diaper is like all leaky or itchy i want to be changed. when im just wet but not soaked i usually want to keep my wet diapers on till i wet it again. sometimes i have to do what my “daddy” wants tho and thats cool too because i know he likes changing me just for fun sometimes too. i dont argue about it very much either way because i always do pretty much what ppl tell me to do. usually he doesn’t ask me anyway. he just makes me lay down and and does it
it hurts to love someone this much
Bay Dad – I can really relate to that – I’d love to hear what you mean though….it feels like a post I keep meaning to write and have a hard time finding words for.
Daddy why no new post for November?
me like wearing diapers and rubber panties need a daddy too email me will send pics ok love ya
i really want a daddy, im in the UK, anyone know of any sites where i may be able to find one? x
Eny one in s wales tex me 07718243363
Diapers are suposed to be wet. Daddy is glad that now I can relax all nite while I sleep and in the morning I have a very soaked diaper. To him it means I feel comfortable and able to be the little boy I am while I sleep instead of worry about wetting the bed. We changed back to depends at nite cause they hold a lot and my skin wont get a rash while I sleep. They are super thick and the outside plastic is soooo soft! Of course we always use my bedtime plastic pants too, these have terrycloth inside just in case there are any leaks. They snap on the sides so in case there is a need to change me while I sleep its easier to do. In the morning Daddy pats my very heavy soaked diaper bottom and tells me what a good boy I am. He lets me eat breakfast before changing me cause I like the squishy bottom so much. So there is never a too wet diaper cause diapers are made to be very very very wet!!!!
Hello I am baby woo I love the feeling of a wet diaper/nappy and adults know when babies need changing for me its wherever and whenever. Potty training is off limits for me but that’s cool I am in nappies 24/7 now. Yeah just trust me if daddy says you need changing you probably do Anyway happy baby days.