It’s back to school time and it might feel like it’s back to the ‘big world’ for you and your adult baby boy.
Summers might have been filled with adventure for a ‘daddy’ and his little boy – trips to the park or zoo, long lazy days by the lake, and of course plenty of time in just a diaper and t-shirt.
But whether it’s the end of a vacation and your little guy is going back to work, or he’s off to College to study diaper engineering …. then this might be the first time you’ve had to decide whether he should wear a diaper when he’s outside of your care.
From Safety to….School
Now, my number one rule is that the “A” in AB is just as important as the “B”. When you’re with your little guy, you know for sure that he needs a safe place to express who he is inside: a little boy who needs to wear diapers and who needs his daddy to care for and protect him.
There’s nothing more important than creating a safe space where he can feel comfortable wearing his diapers. Often, having a daddy is the first time he’s been in diapers with someone else, and this will help him to feel secure that it’s OK to need them, and to depend on his daddy to check him and change him.
Over the course of a lazy summer, his diapers will have become a natural part of his life. He’ll stop worrying about changes because his daddy is there to check him, and because he’s not worrying he’ll find now and then that didn’t quite remember wetting.
So now it’s back to school – and your little guy might have more worries than one! First, he might be anxious about other people knowing that he needs to wear diapers; and second, if he doesn’t wear then he might be worried about having an accident.
While the latter is unlikely, a summer of wearing diapers can go a long way to making your little guy feel it has been safe to be ‘unpotty trained’ – and it can feel like it will be a challenge to stay dry.
Diapers at ‘School’ for the Adult Baby?
Nothing should stand in the way of making your little guy feel safe with his daddy. If he’s going to feel anxious about other people, if it’s impractical, or if it would offend friends, colleagues or other students – then you need to be protective and not put your little guy in a situation that would make him regret that he needs his diapers.
The most important thing is the safety between him and his daddy.
But that doesn’t mean you need to send him off to school feeling like he’s no longer your little boy. Simple, discrete things can be a reminder that no matter where he is in the world, he’s still his daddy’s little boy.
Thicker training underwear or a soft pair of plastic pants can help him feel a little more secure and remind him that he won’t be able to stay out of diapers for long – that when he gets home, daddy will have him safely back in his diapers.
A paci in a pocket of his backpack or one of his smaller plushys are other little reminders that he’s your little boy.
The first week or two back at school is an important time. Make sure you give him lots of love and attention when he gets home. Remind him in lots of different ways that he’s your baby boy and regardless of what happens outside of the house, he’ll be reminded that he still has a safe space to return to each night.
And if he does have an accident at school, or returns home in wet jeans, then it’s up to his daddy to help guide him and make him feel safe – which might mean protection for when he’s at school.
Diapers in the Classroom
They have become an important part of who he is, and he might feel moody without them. He might have learned not to worry about using the potty anymore and will find himself in a suddenly wet pair of pants.
He will be looking to daddy for guidance, and that might include a gentle insistence and assurance that he needs his diapers even for school, that there’s nothing to worry about, and that daddy is proud of his little boy.
Gentle words will help him feel that his biggest fear – “discovery”….shouldn’t change the fact that he is a special little guy who has a daddy who accepts him and cares for him.
Assure him that even though the padding of his diaper might feel bulky between his legs, that others are often too wrapped up in their own lives to realize that the man beside them is in protection (and would rarely ask in any case, assuming something medical).
When he gets home at night and you unzip his jeans to discover a wet diaper, tell him how proud you are. Gently lead him to his change table and bring him back to that special place between a daddy and his ‘son’: a place of caring, where daddy will look after his little guy, and where a night of cuddles and toddler time allow him the safe feeling of being able to express who he is inside.