You come home and daddy meets you at the door. He unties your shoes and takes them off, and then helps you out of your jacket. After a big hug and a kiss on your cheek he tells you that there are cookies in the kitchen – a special treat for his little guy after a long day.
You troop to the kitchen. Your goal is the plate of cookies that daddy has set out for you but you stop short – because next to the table you see a high chair that’s the perfect size for a little boy like you.
You feel a little flutter in your tummy and you turn to see a big smile on daddy’s face.
You’re not sure what to say and you feel a funny emotion building up inside and all you can do is go and give daddy a big hug.
Something feels really special but it’s hard to put into words. You have your very own high chair, and its presence tells you that daddy accepts you as the little boy that you are, and that meal times from now on will be another way to feel safe and cared for as daddy’s baby boy.
Big Meaning for a Little Boy
There are lots of ways to help the adult baby or little boy feel comfortable in expressing who he is. Keeping your little guy in diapers is just one way that you’re expressing your acceptance.
Being a daddy to an AB isn’t just about things. It isn’t about diapers or onesies or toys as much as it is about creating feelings of safety, acceptance and trust. It’s about love, cuddles and quiet moments holding your little boy so that he can sense how special he is to you.
But there are a few things which that can express a lot to a little boy. It might be a special plushy that you buy him and name together, it’s the crib he sleeps in….and it might be the high chair that you bought him for meal times.
They are symbols, in a way, of the permanence of your baby boy in your life and heart.
When he sees his very own high chair in the kitchen or by the dining table, he’ll understand that being your little boy isn’t something that’s temporary.
High Chair Time
Putting an adult baby into his high chair helps him to know that daddy is there to take care of him.
The feeling of the straps being snapped in place and the tray being brought down in front of him will give him a sense of security. As you tie his bib, he’ll know that he really is a baby boy who has his daddy there to look after him at meal times.
Whether you feed your little guy or laugh as he dribbles food down his chin as he tries to feed himself, you’ll be sharing a special moment of joy.
Over time, the high chair will start to represent a sort of safe island – in it, he’ll feel in touch with who he is inside.
After you wipe his messy face and hands and help him out of his high chair, you’ll give your baby boy a hug before you lead him to the change table for a clean diaper.
You’ll have shared another moment with your son and will only hope that there are more ways you can show him how much it means to you that he’s such a special baby boy.
Update: Todd sent some photos of his very special high chair – check the gallery below! If you have photos you’d like to share of your high chair, send them to me by e-mail and I’ll add them.
first again, this was great!
Yay Cody! 🙂
Cody YOU Beat me! :p That’s ok I wanted to tell about MY high chair though. Mine was built as some of you know by T- Bear and it has a Teddy Bear Cut in the back of the top of the chair and is made of solid maple. Its been almost a year and it feels fantastic when I eat in it most of the time. I can only use plastic cups, plastic plates and bowls and only spoons and once in a while a fork if I am good and NO KNIVES! I have a strap to hold me in place so I do not stand up and hurt myself by possibly falling. I also have the tray that locks in place although I had to get it fixed recently with standard Replacement parts. It kinda took time to get used to it especially for finger foods. http://www.rockler.com/product.cfm?page=794&filter=high%20chair I love my chair- Thanks T- Bear!
I think material things are just the icing on top of the super sweet cupcake that is a daddy. And what makes it most delicious is the special feelings put into the relationship that words cannot describe in words! 😀
But oh boy! A high chair! That’s definitely something that reassures a little boy that daddy knows what’s best for him :3
~dumpling
that high chair is real great looking !
Thanks for touching so deeply on the needs of us little guys. To have my high chair in the kitchen or dining room makes it clear that daddy understands who I am. hugs for daddy
Thanks AJ – Glad you like it.. I have had a ball in it for nearly a year. I don’t always get to use it for every meal but I try to unless its just impossible or I am in a hurry to head somewhere out the door. I actually got some Velcro sticky strips (sticky on the bottom)and I put two on the tray and two on the place mat so to keep the tray protected. I put the place mat on them so it stays in place and the tray stayed in great shape. 😀
WOW!! love this. Love the idea o a high chair
I don’t really care about a hi-chair as much as a crib would be the final piece of the puzzle for myself.
a high chair would be great !!!! i can literally feel the combination of nervousness and sheer excitement that you would be able to use a high chair. i wish my daddy would buy me one (im soo jealous)
I am glad to see you are back to posting the wonderful articles! You hit the nail on the head everytime. Though I am not AB (more DL or older teen forced back into diapers for punishment), I would love to have a highchair for Daddy to force me to sit in wearing a bib and be fed all meals in for acting like a baby by wetting my pants and bed. Love the humiliation of being punished in infantile attire, using baby items like a pacifier, bib, bottle, toys and made to sleep in a crib, eat in a highchair or pushed in a stroller. I need a Daddy BAD!
Thanks for another great vision of what life can be for a little guy and his dad. What I find most exciting about a high chair is that while portable, it is not generally kept in the nursery but in the kitchen of dining room. It tells a little guy , you are home. This is a great way for dad to say my little boy lives here.
I am sitting in my high chair and sharing reading this entry with my teddy. With my legs dangling I felt the warm feelings you wrote of. Thanks for the insightful manner in which you captured sensations.
Todd, who made your high chair for you?
maya
Hi Maya,
T- Bear made my high chair for me. I love it because he really did good custom work on it and he even put the Teddy Bear cut out in it for me. One reason I like it is because I really do feel like a baby when I have to eat in it and also because then I am forced to sit down to eat and cannot get up and wander away and come back. 🙂
OH and Maya, What is not pictured on T- Bears photos he did before he shipped it to me is that on the track I put the two strips of velcro on it like so | | and then the other two opposite strips on the back of the place mat and that keeps the maple of the tray protected from various things. Only problem I had with it was the clips you can get at Rockler Wood Working and Hardware site and I had to replace one of those. Not sure if that was a defect in the part OR if it was because I hang the Tray when not in use on the one side until we need it and it was worn odd???
( http://www.rockler.com/product.cfm?page=794&filter=high%20chair ) But a new one seems to be working Great right now and I have one spare as they are sold in pairs. So if it wears out then its like $15 in like 2-3 years which is not bad.
Maya I said Track and I meant to say I put Vel Cro on the TRAY to keep the place mat in place while I take the tray on and off so baby cannot remove the place mat and throw it on the floor. 🙂
Tonight I was so tired after my first week back in Nursery School (aka New Job) and We were having spaghetti. I made such a mess on my high chair tray and all over my face it was like being a 1 year old all over again. It was wonderful.
Nice wooden highchair! Also a great blog post. 🙂
Thanks K,
I have really enjoyed it and except for a few minor problems it is VERY well made. As I said its mostly problems with the hardware wearing out. However I think T- Bear and I figured out its when I hang the tray over to the right side – mostly for convenience – and it sits there but not really in a lock slot. This is when its not in use and then swing it straight out and up and over the top of the chair to secure it and eat. However eating in the high chair is awesome. The best part for me because it has a seat belt is I have to sit and eat my food and cannot get out til I am done. 🙂
i have a highchair my mommy olny lets me use toddler selverwears baby food baby bottls with niples on it no sippycups just all baby stuff she thinks its is safer for me she tals me i cannot start to eat with out my baby bib on its a nono in my mommys home to do adult stuff for me i have to do all baby stuff i wash i cood show you my highchair and my teddybear my mommy put my bear in diapers like me i sleep in a crib to
I like the idea of a high chair ,but dadaaa. You know what I think is that cribs changing tables and high chairs are not my style. Even tho I like to be treated like a babbby <3 I still like my bed with dadaa. I dont like to sleep without him and like to eat dinner besides him. He could still feed me and take care of me but thats just how I feel. I dont know if I am the only one that feels this way or what but I want to see what people have to say about my thought… Oh Ya love your blog Daddy<3 Sometime we should chat agian<3
Hardware update – Today I received a new style hardware for my Teddy bear high chair by T- bear. This has a track on the side of the arm like a traditional high chair – the description in one of the sites was like a “Jenny Lind” high chair. Anyways – I thought it would be a real pain to switch out from the Rockler style hardware, but it was fairly easy. Problem with the Rockler hardware was that it kept slipping out of the notches. This new one has locking holes in the track. It only took me about half an hour to do it and it was really easy to install and upgrade. 🙂 Only draw back is that I cannnot hang the tray on the side of the chair and swing it up when its feeding time. This will be a new challenge for baby- Any Daddy’s who can help me? LOL Found my hardware at http://www.rufkahrs.com or http://www.hardwaretree.com I also told T- bear about this too. It is nice and snug in the first notch but I FEEL MORE secure and not having to worry it might fall out and lose my food on the floor. 🙂
My new Hardware I posted about is working great after nearly a month. Its much more secure than the original style hardware and I feel much more restrained when the tray is locked into place and it is much more safe for baby Toddler! 🙂
I sit high chair for 40 years! I missed in high chair now? I wish I was in one right now? But some day I will be back in high chair again for all my meals