For the dad who’s taking care of a little boy, you might think the rules are different than caring for an adult baby or toddler. But I personally still stick to a few personal rules: create a space of trust and safety, be creative, and act in recognition that your little guy is giving you a gift and that he deserves to be treated from a sense of joy that he’s done so.
Someone recently introduced me to the acronym “LB” to add to Adult Baby (AB) and Diaper Lover (DL). I kind of like the distinction – the phrase “little boy” conjures up a slightly different sense of the responsibilities, activities and care that a daddy will need to provide.
(On the other hand, it doesn’t stand on its own to differentiate the ‘adult’ part of being an LB so I’m left a bit stuck for the perfect term! The word “littles” has other connotations that I’ll explore in another post maybe).
But let’s face it – they’re just superficial terms that mask something deeper and more important: you’re caring for a boy who may look to the world like an adult, but whose spirit and emotions hold deep expressions of being a baby, a toddler or a 9 year-old – sometimes all in one week!
The wonderful part of the “A” in “adult baby” is that he may have a spectrum of feelings and behaviors, although the fact that’s he’s a little guy inside never leaves, it just shifts, changes and takes on new textures and responses. While I find that most boys respond to one particular range of ages (say, 12 – 24 months, or 9 – 11 years) there are a few who might experience a broader set of feelings, or you may see shifts over time.
On this blog, I typically use the term ‘adult baby’ not to denote age, but to denote a boy’s need for care and, importantly, his need for diapers. There’s lots more that can be written about other ages or scenarios, but I’ve found that as a daddy I’m best suited to caring for a little guy who still needs his diapers, and have discovered that regardless of his age this can create a very special bond between a daddy and son.
Diapers, Trainers and Little Boys
When it comes to little boys, they still need diapers, and almost always need diapers at night to deal with wet beds. But there can be a different dynamic with “little boys” as potty training enters the picture.
Now – for you little ones out there, don’t panic! I’m personally of the belief that most boys never outgrow their need for diapers and that, in fact, the world would be a happier place if toilet training never entered the picture.
But some boys have seen one too many of those awful videos or somehow got their hands on one of those children’s books about how Elmo potty trained (what is Sesame Street THINKING?) And so there might be an attempt at potty training. There’s nothing wrong with that – more often than not it’s what dads call a ‘teaching moment’, and in this case it will be a chance to show a little boy that he should still be in diapers.
Use the teaching moment wisely. Remember that your little boy is trying his hardest to make daddy proud. But remember that he’s still a little boy! And he’ll be reminded of this because of the upside to potty training: there’s some really cute stuff out there to help! Grab a potty training calendar and put it on your fridge, for example!
And for boys who are trying to use the potty, there’s a whole range of options for daddy to deal with potential accidents: cloth trainers, Tiger Underwear training pants, Pull-Ups or Goodnites are some examples. Most have cute patterns and designs and your little boy will remember that he’s still daddy’s little boy every time he lowers them (if he makes it) to use the potty.
The Life of a Little Boy
Now, I won’t list out all of the activities here, but the other difference in caring for a little boy as compared to a toddler or baby is that you have a different range of activities and things that will interest him.
He’ll enjoy a bog box of more complicated toys (Transformers, Legos), will love a trip to the Planetarium or museum (to see the dinosaurs, anyways), and will get giddy when he sees a roller coaster or anything that twirls and whirls at the amusement park.
By this time, he may have graduated to a ‘big bed’ from a nursery, and he’ll often be happy spending hours in his room which will be decorated with bright posters. His bed will usually have sheets and comforters of his favorite cartoon character, or images of rockets, stars and moons.
Structure will be increasingly important, and a dad might find it harder to maintain that structure as his sense of independence and mischief starts to grow. If you’ve read this blog before, you’ll know that I’m not a big believer in discipline or anything that causes pain, but a few firm words or an earlier bed time usually keeps him on track.
More important, however, is that a little boy usually acts out because he has the joyous energy of his age or he’s simply looking for his daddy’s attention.
And that’s critical – because no matter how ‘old’ your little boy is, he’s never too old for daddy to listen to his stories, hug him and snuggle him, and to tuck him in lovingly at night. Because he may be a little boy, but he’s still daddy’s baby.
15 Replies to “A Special Time for the Adult Baby: Taking Care of Little Boys”
Wonderful. Very great text.
I am glad you have this. I have tried to explain and even figure out where I fit in all of this. I am most defiantly a little boy. I like beds, not cribs and I like playing with my legos and not sitting in a high chair. Don’t get me wrong I still love to be given a bubble bath and defiantly need my diapers, although training pants are amazing too. I also will never give up my paci… but who would want to?
I am definetly a toddler, but I think some of the things you say are for those big boys, like the 9 year olds, I like Legos and the spin rides like Dumbo, roller coasters are too scarey though, and as a toddler I dont sit a high chair, thats for babbies, I am not a baby, but I still do sleep in a crib. I am not allowed a big boy bed to I stay dry at night.
As for Elmo being blamed for the potty training, it wasnt his fault, he was forced to do, I know he told me so and we sleep together every night.
i want a daddy if anyone lives in texas???? i want a daddy
Im very glad i find this blog i have learn more about what i am.
im a little boy not yet ready to leave the nursery. I love my crib and please dont mention that p word….:(
I am definately an 11 mos. old beginning TODDler that needs to be in the crib for several hours several times a day. Also need about 5-6 diaper changes per day and a bottle. Also need to be in my high chair to eat so I cannot make a mess all over the table. I love my teddy’s and protect them as they are my best friends in the whole world. 🙂
Crib I like, not sure about highchair though. There is no taking away my paciifer though, otherwise you’re going to have a cranky AB.
Well, this was an interesting story at that. I don’t have a high chair or a crib. I would be curious to know what it would be like to sleep in a crib at this time but, I do love my diapers and paci at night and do I not forget my teddy who keeps me comfortable at night along with a thick diaper.
*sigh* to take a nap in a crib with my plushy and nuk would be so relaxing and satisfying right now.
hey i like being treated like a baby 24/7 i am 20 years old and like to be treated like a baby
hi steven goodwin,my name is baby zac,i am a teen baby toddler and like being treated like a baby too,im 16 years old,and im in need of an older broder to take care of me,maybe you could be the one big broder for me:)
This was a really good read 😀 and I agree with the idea that an an can be a baby one day and the next day be more of a toddler idk if that was this post or another one but they are all very good and I’m glad I found this site 😀
I’m a new baby, as well as my Daddy is a new Daddy. While I am a little girl, a lot of what you write, I relate to. I go from infant to little girl in the span of a day. Though I always need my diddys (diapers) and my binky. I thank you from the bottom of my little heart for expressing your views as a Daddy. It helps me appreciate my loving Daddy all the more.
Hi im a nice guy never had childern but now wont a little adult boy to care for this is new to me but i know i can be a good daddy an looking near Ky.So get back with me if your looking for a Dad.