I’m sometimes asked whether I’d change an adult baby/little boy in a public restroom. The idea that a diaper lover or AB might be changed in public places is an important question – and it can really strike to the heart of whether someone would be able to integrate the fact that they wear diapers into the activities of life.
If daddy has you in diapers and takes you to the movies, for example, what happens if you wet? Clearly, if you’re daddy’s diaper boy you probably should be using your diapers like you’re supposed to, and over time you may not have any choice – it can become harder over time to hold it as you get used to wearing and while you might not be incontinent, a boy has to go when a boy has to go! But does daddy wait until you get home to change you?
Like most of my feelings about taking care of a little guy, my answer is that “it depends”. It can take time to build trust and acceptance and your first time in a diaper in public with daddy might feel scary and he might keep you fairly close to home so that you’re able to slip back to the safety of the nursery for a change.
For others, the act of being in public is an important part of allowing them to feel like the little boy they are and the idea of being changed in a public place can act as a powerful reminder that yes, they really do need their diapers, and they have a daddy to take care of them.
Natural Embarrassment
I’m not a big fan of intentional embarrassment or humiliation. I don’t believe that negative feelings are a solid foundation for the long term exploration of being a little boy or diaper wearer.
While I know some little boys desire it, I’d never force someone into a humiliating situation. Humiliation, pain, and discipline might seem like or even BE a sure way to trigger more immediate regression.
But it’s also my belief that caring for a little guy isn’t about regression really at all – it’s about uncovering and revealing the little boy or baby inside who is always there, and is a natural part of someone’s personality. Humiliation is a little like a parlor trick – it might fool you into stripping away defenses for a short period, but it isn’t a long-term strategy for letting a little guy feel comfortable in being who they are, especially if it’s done in a way that manipulates feelings.
But humiliation and embarrassment can happen when they arise naturally. And these are important moments between a daddy and son.
Something as simple as coming to the sudden realization that when he leaned down to choose a teddy bear from the toy store shelf his diaper clearly showed over the top of his jeans, or noticing that someone on the street gave a quizzical look at the overalls he was wearing as if they were wondering why an adult would have an Elmo patch on their clothing – these feelings aren’t forced, controlled or unnatural, but something that happens in the natural rhythm of just life as a baby boy.
The Diaper Lover and Older Ages
While those are general rules, I’ll continue to say “it depends” because there are a few exceptions.
For someone who’s a diaper lover, the dynamic is quite different. There are lots of guys out there for whom the diapers are the key part of their dynamic with a caretaker, and they are comfortable with their ‘calendar age’.
For the diaper lover, wearing in public can be a really critical part of the experience of being in someone’s care. Having their diapers brought to the attention of others can heighten the experience and a daddy might even say things in public, ask if their diapers are wet, or do other things to signify that he’s clearly in his care.
But my perspective is that of a daddy to adult babies and little boys. And as such, there are other exceptions, including caring for someone who expresses themselves as a boy who is well past potty training age and should, by most measures, be out of diapers and past accidents.
With these boys, a daddy might even have initiated potty training or moved the boy into training pants or Pull-Ups. My approach to potty training or dealing with a boy who is at the cusp of avoiding accidents is probably the topic of another post, but it’s enough to say that the language, gestures and actions with these little guys can be different, including the ways in which you deal with an accident in public.
Wearing Your Diapers in Public
But back to the little guy at the movies. You’re the kind of boy who needs diapers and are probably a long way off from ever being out of them (if ever).
Your diapers are an important expression of who you are, and the fact that you need daddy to diaper you has become a natural part of your life. You’ve come to the point where you don’t question that you should be in diapers. The diaper checks and changes that daddy gives you are filled with a feeling of acceptance, trust and care.
Daddy never gets tired of taking care of you because he knows first that this isn’t a question of choice: your diapers are part of you, they’re YOUR diapers, and you need them. He also knows that they are a powerful expression of your love and need for him, and this gives him a wonderful feeling of having an important place in your world, one which he’d never want to risk losing.
In this context, when you wet your diapers at the movie there’s no inner voice telling you that it doesn’t feel right. The safe and accepting feelings you have make using your diapers an almost instinctive reflex.
Sure, you might still blush a little as you feel your diaper grow warmer with the spreading feeling as you wet, but this quickly passes into a feeling of ‘rightness’ and maybe even pride – you know that daddy will be proud of his little boy for just being who he is, which includes being a boy who wears diapers for a good reason.
Leaks and Changes
Now, if at the end of the movie you stand and daddy notices that your diapers have leaked a little, this is an important moment. The wet patch along the inside of your leg or on your bum probably isn’t that noticeable, but you might blush with embarrassment or wonder if others can see.
But daddy doesn’t do anything to humiliate you, scold you or make you feel bad. He might be MENTALLY making a note not to let you order the super jumbo pop next time (too much sugar for a little guy is more of the issue in any case). But mostly he acts as if it’s natural and that these things just happen when a little boy is in diapers all the time.
He calmly notes the issue, and says quietly: “Looks like my little guy has a bit of a wet bum, better get your diaper changed.”
As he walks you to the restroom, he might place a hand gently on your shoulder and walk slightly behind you. While you realize this doesn’t prevent people from seeing the leak in the seat of your pants, it gives you a reassurance that you’re under his care and somehow daddy will make things right.
He’ll either find a family restroom or a large stall or, failing that, will find a reasonably quiet corner. Quickly and efficiently he’ll lower your pants, remove your diaper, pull a new one from the diaper bag, and help you into a new one. He might pat your bum dry with a cloth the best he can or, if it’s a real soaking, he may have a change of clothes on hand.
Public Reaction
Now, this may sound like a fantasy or it may sound embarrassing. And probably the first few times it might be, although it probably is less likely to happen until you’ve come to that safe feeling with your daddy and you’re comfortable in both the feeling of being his little guy and in using your diapers naturally.
But my experience has been that changing someone rarely elicits much more than sympathy or embarrassment amongst OTHERS.
I’ve changed a little guy pretty much in the open in a public restroom because I had no choice. The few people around seemed to feel more embarrassed THEMSELVES as if they had stumbled on something that they shouldn’t have seen – and really, they were right in some ways.
Diapers need to be changed for people of all ages. And acting on the reality that it is natural and needed creates its own kind of safety.
While some people might never want to be changed in public, for most little boys who have grown into an accepting feeling of who they are, the diapers they wear, and the care they need, that final pat on the bum following ANY diaper change is a final simple reminder that they are loved and that they are loved for who they are. And there’s nothing humiliating about that.
Very nice text. Very interesting.
How do you do if there is a poop diaper?
Good question ABDL! I don’t actually write a lot about that because I know some people find it takes them out of their safe feelings of being a little boy. But messy diapers sure do happen!
First there’s the question of telling if someone is messy – often a bit of a smell, although if properly diapered that shouldn’t be too bad. More often than not, it’s that a boy gets fussy, and a pat on the bum will usually give me a good idea that he’s messy.
Changing a messy diaper definitely requires finding a safer space, often a more private rest room in a restaurant, or a lockable family rest room. In the past, I’ve carried a towel with me if I’ll be out of the house last time so you can try to do a quick floor change if it’s the right environment, in which case it’s no different than changing someone at home.
The key is leaving the house prepared! If it’s a long day out and your little guy hasn’t had a messy diaper in a while, then a daddy needs to make sure he has everything he needs, knows the location they’ll be spending time, and is able to find a clean, private space for changing a messy diaper.
When I read your blog posts. Does it feel just as I yearn for you. I know that you really feel safe with you, it is really cool that you can convey it through text. Thanks for a good answer.
I yearn for someone like you.
Awww *hugs* (and keep up your amazing blog I love it!)
Same to you blog. I lov it to.
: D! Cool ! ^ ^
im always like totally amazed how u can tell so exactly all the feelings and stuff about being a dl and what its like. this time u brought up so many memories about being changed in public places that they went like a rush through my mind. the only difference was it was usually a “mom” (foster) that took me to the ladies room to change me when i was a little kid, and ladies didnt seem to be “embarrassed” to see a boy getting changed there, even if i was “too big” to be in diapers. when i got too old to willingly let her take me in the ladies room she would find more private places to change me, but being led by the hand while she was carrying a diaper still let ppl know what i was being taken away for. for me it was always kind of a rush having ppl know i was a “diaper boy” i think. like u say it is always a little bit embarassing being “checked” or asked in front of ppl, especially other kids, if i need to be changed, but ur right it also made me feel like i was getting special attention, and that felt like love.
now im too big to feel comfortable having strangers see me getting changed, but i still get off having them know it happens. its cool u understand that its only ok if everybody sees that there is a Daddy (adult) taking care of u though. i cant pull out a diaper in front of ppl and walk to the bathroom to change myself. babies need somebody taking care of them. it makes me feel good knowing there is somebody that wants to take care of kids who wear diapers. thanx for another reminder.
When I read daddys blog, it helps me forget about everything negative going on in my life and remember the truly blessed feeling it is to an adult baby boy.
i agree eric. daddy josh really helps remind me that it is a special gift to be an adult baby boy. i like to think we help make our own little corner of the world a better place!
I do not mind being changed in public at all, matter of fact, I enjoy it. The strangest place I ever had my diaper changed (and there are many) was in the Statue of Liberty down at the bottom in the bathroom. Uncle Gary from RI had taken me on a tour of NYC and I was soaked when we got there. He took me in the stall, changed my diapers (talking to me like he would one of his grandchildren) and then dressed me again and cleaned up the diaper, etc. I exited the stall first and saw a police officer standing there. Uncle Gary came out after me with the diaper in hand and tossed it in the trash. I walked past the cop and did not say a word nor did he. We did not get in trouble either but man was that hot!!!
yes I like this one alot and I know what it is like to be the one getting changed and it is nice to know some is there for you
Good read. ^_^
When ever I need a diaper change, usually he takes me out to the car and changes me there. If we are out and it’s dark, no one ever notices. I’ve never been changed in a public restroom but I have been changed while I was out in public, and I was scared the first few times it happened because I didn’t want anyone to find us while I was getting changed.
I am 13 and I am scared if my parents find out or already know so I can’t wait to become and adult and get a daddy like you reading these blogs makes me feel comfortable as who I am. And I’d be very embarrased if my parents found out
You haven’t lived till you’ve had your diaper changed on a picnic table. C’mon Daddy, let’s do it!
Hood of the car is also classic, but while friends have done that, I haven’t (yet).
Amazing blog.
I remember once time my Daddy and me were at the science center when my diaper leaked. It was only a little spot but I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack! My Daddy took my hand and calmed me down. Then he took me to the handicapped bathroom and locked the door so I wouldn’t be nervous about anyone walking in. He changed me and even dressed me in dry pants. I was still a little upset afterwards so he bought me a stuffed animal from the gift shop. I just wanna say that not all lil boys like public embarrassment so it’s important for a Daddy to be supportive and have a back up plan lol.
IO wish I had your Courage, I would love to be an adult baby but don’t have the Courage or opportunity, I would love to be Cuddled and changed and fed like a baby, i used to suck a dummy when I lived in a Residential Home but it closed, one of the Staff used to be cross with me, I do wear nappies and used to be naughty and take them off which annoyed the staff.
Depending on what gets posted I hear this gets harder or easier. I try to use the family restrooms or the (H) restrooms and that way it gives more room. What I really wish is that they had like a marble changing ledge to make this easier. That would be nice. 🙂
Just want to say how much i enjoy and apreciate your articles. You really know what you are talking about and have a great way of writing about it. Wish I could find a daddy or big brother to share all this good stuff with but meanwhile thanks – i bet you are an awesome Dad!
Now, I’ve read this a couple times, and both times it struck me with this question: What would this be like for a baby GIRL, as opposed to a ‘little boy’ ? Of course, normally my ‘baby age’ can range from between 18 months to 15 years (but still diapered of course) and, as such, my reaction to it changes…my Daddies have always lived pretty far away from me (Even Australia!!!), and so I havent’ had an experience with this situation yet x.x
I think that was nice I have no to change my diapers or take care of me
Daddy should change baby’s diaper as soon as practible. This will help reduce the possilibility of diaper rash. — Stevie transitoperator@msn.com
You can change my diapers anytime!!
My first public diaper change came this past July while we were on vacation in the finger lakes, and I was a little red in the face but know I was safe as daddy was the one changing me. Even if others were around and saw me in a wet diaper. I just wish I had Snuggles with me at the time of the change.
very nice blog I have a daddy but he doesn’t care about my diapers any more we have bin together for nearly one year I have to change my self, wish he’d visit this web site, your the real thing
Yesterday we ate in a restaurant Daddy and I. We talked a lot, ate a lot, and drank as well. As we were wainting for the bill, he pointed me with his fingers, smiled at me and asked by approaching his head to me: lil one, are you still dry?! I had an amazing feeling on my face, as if I was really red in embarrassement. I replied: dunno! He said: well, as soon as I will pay our dinner, both of us will go to the restroom and I will have to check your diaper. I said: but, Daddy, didn’t you tell me that diapers are made for that? I knew my diaper was a lil wet, but not that much. Then he said: are you admitting right now that you ran a pee or messed in your diaper, scooter?! Hop, stand up, let’s go to the restroom! I replied confused and in a shy way: no, I don’t need to go there! Daddy said: sure, you need, come! Both of us entered the room and Daddy found a locked stall. He told me: first I take a pee, then I check your diap! He proceeded. He stood behind me, unbuckeld my belt, unbuttonned my levi’s and lowered my snug pair of briefs. He muttered in my ear: let’s have a look at your diaper, my cute lil boy! In the same time, I felt his big hand foundling up my right leg and very thoroughly he slid two fingers in my diaper. He said: I can feel some wetness inside! I need to look further if you can stay in such a wet diaper or if you already need a change! I replied: no, that’s ok! I can keep this one on. He patted my bam several times and asked: have you messed it too?! I said: nope, Daddy! Only babies do that. Daddy said: trusting in your word is a good thing, my boy, checking is a better one! In the same time, he ran his big left hand up on my diapered bum and widenned the waistband. He saw a large brown spot between my cheeks and said: so sorry, stinky boy, you messed your diap; you need a fresh diaper right now and we will have a talk at home. He laughed. He added: hands up! He unsnapped the 4 tapes, wipped my bum clean, rolled up the dirty diaper in itself, took my lil willy in his big fingers, pulled back my foreskin and said: now, you take a pee like a big boy, I’m sure you are able to! Come on, boy! He placed his warm hand under my balls and finally I had a stream running out. Daddy said: so proud of you, stinky boy! Now turn around and keep against the wall! He took a big diaper from his bag, unfolded it and placed it between the wall and my bum. He added: please don’t move now! Then he took a line stuffer, placed it in the hanging diaper and clapped the front side on my belly. He snapped the 4 tapes very snuggly. Daddy said: I hope we can go to a pub now, without having to change your diap before driving back home! Hold your dirty diap in your hand and you will throw it in the trash!
He pulled up my pair of briefs, patted in my bum in a friendly way, said: too cute! Then Daddy rebuttonned my tight levi’s and refastened my belt.
Both of us came out of the stall and fortunately for me, there was nobody to see.
As we came out of the room, he said: I hope you won’t have any leak, son! And made his caring hand on my shoulder.
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Absolutely not! If my Mommy or Daddy tried to change me publicly, that would be the end of our baby/parent relationship
I would love to have daddy change my diaper in public. I have change myself in public twice when I was messy. To have a daddy check and decide I need a change and then take me to a place to get change would be amazing.
I need a abdl daddy to change my wet diaper
I need a daddy to change my wet pamper. Will you change my bum daddy?
OMg that’s amazing! I’ve had it done under a bush before and the thrill was amazing!