In the ideal world, you meet someone special and he becomes your daddy. Over time, your sense of trust deepens and you find that the baby or little boy inside doesn’t have to hide. Daddy takes care of you, changes you, dresses you and spends time with you.
Your sense of self feels complete – you never feel as if you need to ask to have ‘little time’ because it’s just who you are, and your dad understands this and feels grateful that you let him care for you, diaper you, read you bed time stories, and simply be there for you.
There are times when there is no thought in the world other than being a baby or little boy. There are other times where you’ll sit with daddy and talk about your school or work, or watch a movie together and you feel that you are loved and respected for all of who you are – that there is an “a” in being an AB, but none of these sides of your personality are separate.
When you find a pacifier in the pocket of your jacket as you walk to work, or discover a spare diaper in your backpack, you know that daddy loves you for being out in the world but that he hasn’t forgotten that you’re his little guy.
Shifts and Changes
I don’t think that the above is a dream. I’ve been lucky enough to have spent time with little guys and it was a continual process of discovery and joy.
Some times might be more ‘babyish’ than others; some weeks he might be wearing a diaper under ‘normal’ clothes; and some weekends might be completely about letting the little boy that he is have room to play and experience.
But no matter how perfect a relationship can be between a daddy and his ‘son’ there are times when circumstances leave a little guy feeling like his dad isn’t, well, being ‘daddy enough’.
I’ve had people contact me and ask how they can get more attention from their dad. Or they ask whether it’s fair to ask for more babying time.
It’s very natural for a relationship to swing and shift and for the balances to change over time based on what’s happening in your life, stresses from a job or family situation, or any number of reasons.
Hopefully, you have a good level of communication and trust with your daddy. But I know what it can be like for a little boy – it can be really hard to ask a daddy for something, because maybe he should know, or maybe you feel shy or overly needy and don’t want to upset him.
More often than not, it will be the dad who finds a special way to bring his little guy back to that special place – a new teddy bear, a trip to the toy store, or a surprise night of babying.
But what if a little guy is feeling a little neglected? Is there anything he can do to signal to his dad that he needs some baby or little boy time?
Tips for Telling Daddy to Be Daddy
So I’m going to share a few little tips from a dad’s perspective.
Aside from the first tip, which is to talk it through, these are things that I’ve found are sure-fire ways to get MY attention anyways, and that almost always trigger my daddy-type instincts.
The Perfect Shrug
Have you found that you’ve been talking with your daddy about what movie to rent or what restaurant to go to? Try the shrug instead.
Next time there’s a decision to be made, let daddy make it – and not by saying “you decide” but with the simple gesture of the shrug. Daddy will see this not as a giving up of control over decisions, but as part of your nature – and will see that the little boy in you just needs someone to help decide.
The Importance of Teddy
There is something incredibly powerful to a daddy when he sees his little guy holding his favorite plushy close to his chest. It’s not a complicated thing to make sure your teddy is with you, whether when watching a show on TV or drifting off to sleep.
Remember that your teddy needs you, and if you act on this knowledge, daddy will remember that you need him too.
Lose the Napkin!
It can be a very adult gesture if you’re eating out somewhere (or even at home) to wipe your mouth with a napkin. But lose the napkin! Drop it on the floor, throw it out the window – whatever you have to do to stop yourself from wiping the spaghetti sauce from your mouth.
Daddy won’t be able to stop himself for wiping your mouth for you, and that little touch will remind him that he’s needed.
Now, this is a tough one – because not ALL ABs or little boys will wear diapers all the time. If you DO wear diapers all the time, don’t ever make the mistake of asking daddy for a change. It’s not that he’ll mind, but by NOT asking he’ll soon discover that every little guy needs his diapers checked by a conscientious dad.
And if you don’t wear diapers – then shouldn’t you? A dad will quickly understand if a little boy wets his pants that it’s diapering time and that no matter how ‘adult’ someone might be acting, he’s still a little boy who needs to be in diapers.
Most of all, the snuggle is the number one way to a daddy’s heart. Rest your head on his chest, slip into his arms, and let him hold you. Relax your body so that he senses how your body needs his care and protection.
And sure enough, daddy will remember that his little boy means more to him than just someone really special in his life – that he has someone who needs the special care and attention that he is blessed enough to be allowed to give.