The way you hold your favorite stuffed toy close to your chest, the way you smile when daddy pats your diapered bum, the blush of pleasure you get as you sit in your high chair and the bib is tied around your neck, and the way you hide underneath the blanket fort in the living room with one foot sticking out – these things don’t just make me smile, they remind me of how special you are, and what a gift you bring to the world.
As a daddy, I don’t see an adult who acts like a baby or toddler or little boy. I don’t see a role that is turned on or off. I see someone with a magical gift for finding those places inside where we find healing and joy and play.
Sometimes, a little guy might seem to all the world like any normal adult walking down the street.
Maybe he has a job, or school, and goes out to restaurants with friends. Sometimes daddy is with him and sometimes not. He’s usually padded – a Goodnite, a diaper, or training pants.
But it’s not just the diaper that connects him to his dad. There’s something incredibly powerful and special about being in his diapers, and it is an explicit and needed connection in his relationship to daddy.
As he sits there and feels the spreading warmth as he wets his diapers he has a special feeling of connection to both himself and the knowledge that his daddy is the one to change him.
But daddy doesn’t just feel connected because he has been given the gift of being able to care for such a special boy, plus the gift of a specific way to do that through keeping his boy diapered and secure.
He feels connected because as he looks across the table he can always sense the characteristics of his inner joy, mischief, play, need, and vulnerability.
Daddy can sometimes see in his little guy’s face those tender pains deep inside, the pains that feel a lot like a need to be hugged, and loved unconditionally, and cared for without a need for explanation.
Daddy can sometimes see in his little guy’s face those flashes of joy and love that don’t quite have words or names – they’re these feelings inside that well up and float and fill his little guy with this energy that adults rarely find, because adults don’t always let themselves be, simply, within a feeling, they try to name them and channel them and call them different things.
And so as daddy watches his boy who looks, to all the world, like a happy, regular person he sees something else: a little boy who, that night, will be taken by the hand and led into the nursery, whose diaper will be changed and who will be lovingly dressed, and who will be told not through words but through gestures and touch that his acceptance of who he is deep inside, his ability to let his expression of that self be held in his daddy’s gentle care, is affirming and bright and makes the world a better place.
8 Replies to “Why You’re So Special: Acceptance and the Adult Baby”
I’d give anything to feel that way. I have loving parents, and I love them very much. But I’d really love to find a daddy to love me, to care for me, to diaper me, etc.
this is probably one of the sweetest things i’ve ever read. my own journey of self-acceptance as an adult baby had a lot to do with simply being seen for who i really was… a normal, functioning adult who was also a baby boy. it is one thing to acknowledge it yourself, it is something extra special to have it safely and lovingly acknowledged by another. thanks daddy josh for your special, healing words. i hope you have a sense of how many of us would love to spend a day, night, weekend, etc. in daddy’s nursery! xoxo jimmy
I second that Jimmy. As I read I picture it all in my mind. The soothing voice daddy uses and feeling no one can hurt me. Im safe and daddy loves me unconditionally and I dont need to hear that…i can feel it. Reading this makes me want to grab Norman and my paci.
Yes, the connection, the desire to be hugged, accepted, loved is all so strong. What great insight! hugs to you daddy.
This is Wonderful! I think the hard part is being accepted in the whole world for what you are. I have read and talked to hundreds of AB’s and DL’s all over the world that felt like they were the problem when they just wanted to be who they are. Finally you get to a point as an AB where you say you just do not give a $%&* and say the heck with it and you go 24/7 (if you want) and you have tippy cups, bottles, plushies, and eventually graduate to a crib and a high chair and maybe even a changing table. Then all you need is Daddy. 🙂
He he he this is a question for my fellow ab/Dl’S how would u tell ur parents about ur feelings of wearing diapers when they acuse u of likeing to wear dirty diapers. Because they found the old ones. And the reason was u didnt have a way to get rid of them without ur parents finding out. U know the whole feeling when a secrit gets out that u never wanted anyone to know. But how would u explain it to sumone uve lived with most ur life. Eg (Parents)
The reason for the question above is that my mom threatened to kick me out if she found any so i have came up with an exscuse but before i get ahead of myself i had to get some other opinions. I would have sent it to josh to get his opinion but he hasent replyed to my other emails.
Jason, I was taken by the way you said you wish you could find such a daddy. I hope you do. If you live close to us, you would be welcomed into our ab, lg, tb, dl family! This was a wonderful post and I loved reading all the replied.