I’ve been so amazed and touched by the questions and comments from people who have read this blog, or who have e-mailed me about their feelings and experiences. One of the reasons I started this blog was that I couldn’t find much advice for dads to adult babies/diaper lovers.
Actually – that isn’t true, and thus this post. Because there are definitely dads out there, I just don’t relate to some of their ways of expressing their relationship to a little one. I do feel that all forms of expression and care are valid and provide rich opportunities for personal exploration. But there are some things about being a daddy that I just don’t feel suit my personality or interests.
In particular, I’m very focused on nurturing, caring, love, and approval. When people ask me about ‘punishments’ my response is usually to say that positive reinforcement, structure, guidance and approval work better than what a ‘stricter’ daddy might provide.
Now, for all you little ones out there, this is probably a lot more of a dad-to-dad talk so you might want to go watch cartoons. But if you can’t help peeking over daddy’s shoulder as he does serious adult type stuff maybe the scribbles will make sense.
The Spectrum of Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers
So I was thinking a lot about dads and their AB/DL ‘sons’, why sometimes it might be a match, or why there are differences. Let’s take it as a given for a second that an AB/DL needs to, wants to or accepts wearing diapers (as part of the rules or structure of a relationship).
I was thinking that interests on two variables make a big difference in how a daddy/son relationship is constructed: the sense of regression versus fetish; and the sense of caring versus control. Where a dad or son feels most ‘at home’ can make a big difference.
To illustrate (yes, daddy made a picture!):
Now, I probably need to spend more time on some sample questions, and I suspect most people can pretty easily put themselves on the scales above anyways, but to explain what I mean let’s look at a few of the AB/DL dimensions:
Caring versus Control
Which of the following means more to you:
– Being cuddled and snuggled (-1) or having structure and discipline (+1)?
– Having a daddy who is gentle and loving (-1) or a daddy who is firm and maybe even strict (+1)?
– Having a daddy who creates a safe space for you filled with warmth (-1), or having a daddy who you love being obedient to (+1)?
– Being excited because you like spending time in daddy’s company (-1), or being excited because you know daddy will make you do what’s right (+1)?
– Feeling that you need someone who nurtures you (-1), or feeling like being under someone’s supervision is important (+1)?
Regression versus Fetish
Which of the following means more to you:
– Diapers are part of a larger feeling of being a little kid (-1), or diapers are, well, stimulating (+1)?
– I never mix my ‘little’ side with more sexual feelings (-1), or being diapered is almost entirely related to the physical (+1)?
– Baby, toddler or boy’s clothing helps put me in a ‘little’ state of mind (-1), or they make me feel erotic (+1)?
– I think of diapers as an expression of who I am (-1), or more like a ‘badge’, uniform, or turn-on (+1)?
– I like knowing other DL/ABs because they’d make good play mates (-1), or they’d make good “play” mates (+1)?
Now, you’ll find that you’re either fairly clearly in one ‘quadrant’ or maybe you’re in the middle, shift from day-to-day, or tick off a big “depends on who the daddy is”. And I do believe that our personalities are fluid, dynamic and change with the situation.
But in your heart-of-hearts, which are you more like?
The diaper slave who finds that there’s a deep bond of love in the fact that he obeys his daddy, is diapered by him, and will do whatever it takes to please?
The diaper lover who can mostly leave the babyish stuff unless daddy really insists, and who finds the idea of a pair of diapers under a pair of jeans riveting, and who finds a wet nappy erotic?
The obedient baby who needs the firm guidance of his daddy, some discipline if you misbehave, spankings on occasion for being naughty, but who is also a much-loved child who looks adorable in short-alls and whose paci isn’t far away?
Or, the baby boy who likes to be cared for, cuddled, changed, dressed, put in a crib, diapered and loved by your trusting caring daddy?
Very nice post.
I guess I am a baby boy… -1 on the first graph and -3 on the second
what a cool way to think about the whole spectrum of ab experience. i am definitely a baby boy.
Great way to see the whole picture of being either AB or DL. There are some of us who may have a tendency toward a little of both. I like to be cared for, to be cuddled, to be diapered, to have my diapers changed, to be treated like a baby at times, other times, a toddler, maybe a little boy. Always wearing diapers. I don’t know what I’d be called, what do you think? Any ideas?
Jason –
There’s a separate part, I think, which is someone’s ‘little age’. This model is more about the overall feelings related to diapers as fetish or regression, and the feelings related to daddy’s role in caring or controlling.
These things can shift over time, as can a boy’s ‘inner age’.
I think my posts on the different types of ‘days’ for the AB start to look at the different ages and experiences that would fall under the category which is, here, “baby boy” but which also includes toddler, pre-teen or teen.
I hit baby boy hard -5 -5 wow but It is definitely me
Me too a big 5 toddler. Boy.
I believe I fit a little bit of a baby boy and diaper lover. If in the right situation I can be pretty much all four.
I think I am a baby with diaper needs or my Crib is soaked at night. 🙂
i am definatly a baby boy,thats a no brainer!i love cuddling with my daddy,i love the way he smiles when he feeds me,the way he lays me in my crib for my nap,the way he gently changes my diapers,the way he plays with me and my toys,the way he soothes me when i cry,the way he gives me my goodnight kiss on my forehead,i can rely on him and i LOVE my daddy,he’s one of the daddies that cant leave my side because his heart says”my son needs me and i need to let him know how much i love my baby boy”i couldnt ask for a better daddy!i am,and always will be his baby Zac:D…i luv u daddy:)
Definately, a baby boy. I also like the structure and discipline it provides even if I do not have a AB Daddy. I also like the fact that I need to wear diapers and my onesies are nice to wear too as I like the fact that they snuggle my wet diaper against my skin where it feels nice and moist and warm. I also like the security of my crib when I am in there and that I feel safe. Even when I wake at night I realize Oh yeah I am in the crib and not allowed to get out til morning. Its a fantastically powerful feeling inside. 🙂
Im an lb but i wouldnt mind sleeping in a crib would stop me from getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Id like to have to stay in bed and have to use my diapers. Its a habit to get up at night and walk down to the bathroom.
Im an lb but i wouldnt mind sleeping in a crib would stop me from getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Id like to have to stay in bed and have to use my diapers. Its a habit to get up at night and walk down to the bathroom. And ive wanted to wear cloth diapers since i am only Limited to disposibles rite now.
Idk why it does a double post but id say Baby boy (Lb) id lOve to cuddle with a daddy on the couch and as an lb i really want attention and why is probly due to haveing a traumatic life ive had and not haveing a father i could actually call dad when i was younger.
all i know is that i am definatly a baby boy,just the fact of being with a kind loving daddy like mine,makes me smile:@
i am definatly a baby boy,i may be a 16 year old teen,but i am a 5 month old toddler inside,i love the way daddy treats me like a small toddler,it makes me feel like a true baby,i like the way how daddy imediatly puts me in diapers when i go to visit him,but i get lonely,i do love my daddy,but i want an older baby brother to play with me,and care for me,someone to teach me how to do bigboy things,so if there is any abdl that needs a baby brother,i could be the one,dont be shy,im a really nice baby,so just comment me if u want a request:@
i got -5 for regresshion and -5 for care dat = me babyboy yay 🙂
Wow, I found this very informative and interesting. I read the whole post and looked at the questions and the picture, it seems I fall in the category of “Baby Boy”, thats cool, never really knew that.
I’ve been wondering then how would you punish a baby boy when he is being naughty, since there is an ‘a’ in ab if your little one is being resistant to being punish for misbehaving is going ahead and punishing the right thing?
I’m an Obediant Baby =).
HUMMMM I fall right on the line daddy what does that mean, I a brat that need a strict daddy but at the same time i need a daddy to love and cuddle me?
I am between a baby boy and obedient baby
-5,-5 I can’t be more Baby Boy than that!
I am a -5, -5. Just a baby boy that needs to be cared for.
I was baby? At age 20,! It’s starting at 6 month old sleeping in crib all day drinking 4oz bottle of infant formula? At 1 year old eating stage 1 baby food and 4oz bottle of infant formula for 3 years! What them it’s was hell! I did it for 20 years as baby at 1 years old
I would say I am on the line of little boy and obedient baby. I love the little boy aspect but there are times I want that firm daddy with a spanking for discipline. At times it can be erotic but it is more about being seen and treated like a child for me.