No one likes a diaper that leaks – least of all a dad to an adult baby. Or do they? Maybe some adult baby boys kind of – well, LIKE it when their diapers leak.
To be honest, this has often been a real point of insecurity for me. Noticing that a little guy has a dark spot on the back of his jeans or play clothes or a tell tale wet spot along his inner legs makes me wonder whether I’ve neglected him in some way.
Maybe I chose the wrong kind of diaper or the wrong kind for the time of day. Maybe I wasn’t careful enough making sure it was snug around the legs. Or maybe my diaper checks weren’t frequent enough and I wasn’t aware he was already wet and I left it to get to the ‘soaked’ point.
But the truth is I think there can be other factors as well. For the boy who isn’t used to diapers on a full-time basis, for example, they may still be wetting in ‘older’ patterns: holding it in and then releasing all at once. This is an invitation to leaks and over time, a little guy can be encouraged to use his diapers as a little guy would: releasing without thinking too much about it and as he needs to, rather than waiting for one large ‘flood’.
Diapers themselves, no matter how well designed, can’t always do the job of stopping leaks. Depending if a little guy is in his crib, lying on his back, or sitting in his playpen, there’s always a chance of, well, misdirection.
The important thing, I think, is avoiding any feelings of guilt or worry if a little guy has a leaky diaper. Although thicker diapers might be needed and plastic pants for the little guy who tends to flood or is a heavy wetter, that still might not prevent the VERY occasional leak.
No matter WHAT a daddy does he should never get angry at his son for a wet couch, carpet or clothes. A boy should know that it’s safe and right to use his diapers in what ever way he needs to, and creating any shame around leaks will make it tougher for the little guy to feel that he belongs in his diapers or might make him nervous to use them.
Sometimes, a wet spot on his bum while in public might be a little embarrassing, but daddy should both provide reassurance and have back-up plans in place – a sweater wrapped around the boy’s waist if it’s serious, a reassuring pat on the shoulder and diapered bum for those “maybe people will notice or maybe not” moments, and a spare pair of shorts or jeans in the diaper bag if it’s a longer day out.
But at the end of the day, it may not answer the real question – because I can’t help thinking that sometimes the adult baby boy or diaper lover doesn’t MIND a bit of leaking and wears it almost like a badge of honor – he’s his daddy’s diapered boy, after all, and maybe a little splotch or two on his jeans is his way of showing the world.
But maybe that’s just me hoping that a leaky diaper isn’t always such a bad thing nor a sign that daddy needs to go back to diapering school.
Good text 🙂
little boys diapers are always going to leak, its part of being a little boy and you are very right about not being embarrased or upset about it. My diapers leak for all of the reasons above, (well not the flooding, i havent done that in years) and if i or my hubby got upset i would be getting in a lot of trouble.
Dear Daddy,
As usual, your article was right on all the way around!
“a baby boy or diaper lover doesn’t MIND a bit of leaking and wears it almost like a badge of honor – he’s his daddy’s diapered boy, after all, and maybe a little splotch or two on his jeans is his way of showing the world.”
I guess I have to hang my head a little in shame, but still say proudly, if not shyly, that If I were your boy, I would be proud for my spots to show! 🙂
Andy
i might be in the minority, but this little boy doesn’t like it when diapers leak. the great thing about diapers is keeping all the wetness from my baby clothes or adult clothes. as an example, the last time one of my diapers leaked it got my footed sleeper wet and it had to be taken off and laundered…that’s like watching your favorite blankie getting cleaned…for a moment that security is gone and it takes a gentle daddy to reassure the baby that its ok.
i’ve had some very big diaper leaks out in public. once i was out to dinner with some diaper friends and i didn’t wet all through dinner while i was seated. when we stood up and went outside at the end of the meal i just let go and i wet so much so fast that the diaper couldn’t hold it and before i knew it the diaper leaked big time and the whole leg of my jeans was wet down to my shoes. it was kinda embarrassing to walk home that way and it was cold and wet real fast and there wasn’t a daddy around to make it all better. i sure wish my diaper had held it all.
fortunately, disposable diapers are getting better and better and they hold a lot of a boy’s wetness. even though i like the babyishness of cloth diapers, diaper pins and plastic pants i always found that they leaked more than disposables. maybe because i didn’t have a daddy to make sure they were thick enough!
Hey Jimmy:
I wear cloth @ night because I am such a big night time wetter, and they almost never leak. With cloth I recommend wearing two diapers, they hold a lot more then disposable but are a little bit slower on the absorbing so the double up prevents the leaks. Also make sure your plastic pants are tight enough.
And yeah when you are out a really leaky diaper isnt fun, but thats what happens to us baby boys from time to time 🙂
Dave
This actually reminds me of the most embarrassing leaky diaper I have ever had in my life. I’m turning red just thinking about it.
Anyway, I had met up with some AB friends for the afternoon and we were just heading back to the parking lot we were parked in to get our cars and depart. We were spending the afternoon in an overcrowded summer coastal town, so there were people EVERYWHERE!
At this point, my Bambino was fairly well saturated, though I had no reservations about wetting it again. As we entered the parking lot, the woman working there, collecting payments, decided to strike up a conversation with me.
Suddenly with a strong urge to pee, I decided to empty my bladder while still talking to this friendly old woman. Not really thinking about my diaper’s capacity, I flooded the Bambino and continued to talk to her. However, to my horror, the Bambino actually couldn’t take another flooding in any way, shape, or form. Dark, wet patterns immediately started to appear at the top of both legs on my tan shorts and it began to run down my leg. I was still in the middle of pointless chit-chat with this woman, standing about 3 or 4 feet away from her. There is not any possible way that she didn’t notice.
Luckily one of my buddies noticed this and immediately jumped into the conversation, giving me the opportunity to practically sprint to my car. My shorts were soaked at this point, and we still had other places to visit and lots of hanging-out time left for the day. Luckily I had packed another diaper and a change of shorts (somehow, I decided to bring a change of shorts that day in case I leaked. I had never planned that well ahead before).
Finding the only public bathroom in the whole town proved to be another obstacle in my quest for dry pants, as it seemed like the entire town had suddenly decided to come out and hang out at this public bathroom. I tried my best to cover my poor condition with my messenger bag, but it was a near-impossible task. After receiving a few strange looks and a couple gaping mouths, I managed to get myself changed up, but not in time to save my poor, cracked pride.
well I guess you would characterize me as a ‘flooder’. thats mostly due to the fact that I’ve never had a caretaker who really took the time retrain me to use my diapers the right way. Someday perhaps. But unlike a lot of people, I can say for me personally I don’t like wet diapers, or wet clothes, or wet beds. Can it be a little thrilling to know your in a state a proper little boy would be in under normal circumstances…yeah a little, but I think that wears off all too quickly. The only good diaper for me is a dry one!
then why bother wearing diapers, sorry but doesnt make sense
I think it’s still perfectly feasible to get feeling of warmth comfort and protection that comes with wearing your diapers WITHOUT having to marinate you your juices until leaks happen. I bother wearing for same reason any of us bother wearing, because the feel a thick soft fabric or material wrapped around my bottom and privates takes me back to a special place in the past where I felt small safe and happy. That feeling for me is not really enhanced or diminished by the sensation of flooding said diaper, or using it for number 2 for that matter. That is EXCEPT to say that the act of having done that means that a diaper check and changing time with Daddy is (hopefully) not far off. And that I’ll soon be put back in a nice and snug dry diaper, which I think is more appropriate anyhow. 9 out of 10 real babies/toddlers agree dry diapers feel better lol ask one sometime.
Diapers leak. No matter how absorbant or how bulky that diaper may be, there’s always a chance of a diaper leaking. It’s just a fact of life.
I LOVE my Bambino diapers, they don’t leak if I change them when necessary.