For the adult diaper lover, being changed is probably on par with needing to be changed in the first place. Some adult babies don’t seem to mind putting off being changed and sure won’t tell dad when they’re wet or messy. Others will start to pout even if their diapers are only slightly moist and it might be daddy who puts off the change until later – for those boys, the experience of being changed is one of the best parts of having a daddy.
Regardless, change time is a special moment. I love seeing how naturally my ‘son’ will lie back on the crinkly change mat and how his legs will sort of spread apart, getting ready to be changed almost a reflex reaction.
For the son there can be feelings ranging from discomfort (a soaked or messy diaper, the cool air when it’s removed) through to exhilaration or an almost trance state (or so it seems, anyways).
Depending on how evolved your relationship is with your son, or whether his ‘little’ age is a bit older, there might also be some feelings of embarrassment. This can stem from him either being on the cusp of potty training and so he’s starting to feel that wetting or messing are ‘accidents’, or it can be because he still has residual adult feelings. Over time, those feelings will subside as he feels the safety of being a diapered toddler or baby in the care of his dad.
But what’s dad thinking?
For me, the experience of diapering a baby or toddler is incredible. It creates a connection to the little one that I think is rare and, odd as it may seem, honest. The act of caretaking creates a sense of belonging together, of need, helplessness and support.
The wet or messy diaper itself fills me with a feeling of pride that my little boy has used his diapers as a little boy would, and the helplessness doesn’t represent to me powerlessness, but rather trust and love. His willingness to let me change him is a signal of connection and I honor that trust.
Sometimes a change can be relatively quick – a change mat on the floor while watching cartoons, say. Or sometimes it can involve little tickles, cleaning, powdering, diapering and dressing the little guy for bed or story time.
But the highlight as a dad, for me in any case, is the moment that the final tape is put in place (followed closely by the pat on his bum as he toddles off). There’s something about taping the diaper up that I find gives me a great sense of love and tenderness as if I’m able, in that small gesture, to make some part of the world safe and snug.