There’s very little statistical evidence on adult babies. Or little that I can find, primarily those referenced via Wikipedia’s entry on paraphilic infantalism which states that there is a very high number of male AB/DLs compared to female (by a ratio of 10-20 to 1). Less still is evidence of the incidence of gay, straight, or bisexual in the adult baby community (let alone discussion of transgendered etc.)
All I really have to go on is what’s visible on Web sites, forums and other on-line resources where AB/DLs post, and it strikes me that while there are highly active gay communities in the AB/DL world, there are an incredibly small number of ‘dads’ like myself – or certainly very few that don’t also seem to be involved in S&M or BDSM.
As I’ve said, my interests aren’t in dominance or being a ‘master’ and are exclusively related to feelings of nurturing and care-taking.
I also find it intriguing how often the gay community describes diapers as a ‘kink’ in comparison to how many self-describe as ABs or even just plain diaper-lovers. While there’s nothing wrong with that (as Seinfeld would say) I can’t help wondering whether I’m just extrapolating this myself, whether it’s unique to the gay community, or whether these over-lapping domains of kink/BDSM/DL and AB seem to have the same relative rations in other parts of the community.
Dad wants to know.
13 Replies to “Gay Dads to Adult Babies”
I think it being identified as a “kink” has to do with two issues.
First of all, terminology – alot of people just use “kink” as a goto word for all manner of fetishes and paraphilia. Given that the gay community, as a whole, seems more comfortable with people having…esoteric… sexual interests, I don’t necessarily consider that a bad thing. The link to BDSM & SM could have to do with a bunch of things – for one, for alot of ABDLs there’s a definate submissive aspect to it – two, infact.
I’ve talked with a few people online about this before and within the context of ABDL I refer to it internally as “soft submission” and “hard submission” – most kinks people think of involving BDSM are the latter – people enjoying being actively dominated, having freedoms taken away, being restricted (hard like steel). ABDL stuff though has a unique, secondary aspect (similar to what some BDSM lifestylers talk about) – the soft side of things. A daddy or big bro is a strong – but more “loving” (in the standard sense) hand. Some ABDLs seem to prefer, exclusively, the soft side of things – diapers take them back to a simpler, happier time, let them relax and unwind, let them lower their defenses in a sort of passively passive manner, like what you describe (being nurtured or cuddled are great!)
Some prefer the harder side of it (being actively restrained, paddled, actively humiliated or degraded) – though they derive the same feelings of “release” (diff side, same coin?) from it. The vast majority seem to like some sort of mixture of the two, but — like with any group — the whip-and-chain aspect is alot more memorable.
The other part of the description probably is a communal thing – I’ve heard of DLs describing themselves as “into underwear and diapers” when talking to unknown individuals about their sexual proclivities, whereas when dealing with other ABDL community members, they can use the shorthand and understood AB/DL – audiences count. There’s also that, to some people, their fetish is a lifestyle and is thus inseparable from their wider life, so to them it wouldn’t be a “fetish.” When you get into psychology it gets even more murky…
“certainly very few that don’t also seem to be involved in S&M or BDSM”
I’m curious as to why a boy who has an interest or involvement with BDSM would be a problem for you? Afterall, most people have more than one sexual interest.
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